Musicals Galore!

Tonight I am listening to my Broadway Soundtrack Playlist.  I love this soundtrack and enjoy singing along, much to the detriment of my husband.  It's 112 songs, 7 hours 38 minutes long.  IT has everything from the Sound of Music up to Sweeney Todd (the Johnny Depp version),  Some might argue that movies shouldn't be counted as "Broadway", but if they were based on a musical I included them.

I used to do Theatre.  Did I tell you that?  I was a Lighting Designer at a local community theatre.  I even won two awards.  I think that Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat was my crowning achievement.  I retired after that show, at the ripe old age of 20.  I didn't know anyone to be on my Lighting Crew so I ended up doing most of it myself.  I just lost interest.  Sometimes I miss it, but not for the most part.

I have only seen one Musical on Broadway, and that was the Lion King.  I had Standing Room Only tickets.  I stood in my designated slot next to the immensely talented Shawn Boyle and watched the magic unfold.  In London I saw Miss Saigon and Les Miserables (With the incomparable Lea Salonga as Eponine).  In Boston I've seen Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Beauty and the Beast, Aida, and Rent.  I've yet to see Wicked, which is funny because the aforementioned Shawn Boyle worked on Wicked for like 5 years.  I will see it one day, but not until I can afford it.  I promised my husband we'd go to a Bruins game before we go see Wicked, so I'll need a good deal of money before either of those happens.

I confess since I left the theatre I have not really listened to new Broadway, and therefore none of my songs on this playlist came out after Wicked.  But if you're into the Broadway classics form the 90's and early 2000's, this playlist is for you.

Cortisone Injection? Okay

I mentioned in my post last night that I was seeing an orthopedist today for my knee.  It's been absolutely killing me.  I saw her today and she gave me a cortisone shot.  Not the most pleasant thing in the world, but not the worst either.  Once the Lidocaine wore off, oh boy, did the pain come back worse as ever.  You see cortisone injections can take up to six weeks to work.  I hope this shot works in a few days.  I start physical therapy for it in two weeks.  As I mentioned my kneecap is misaligned and if I don't keep up the strength in my muscles surrounding the knee, I experience pain.  The orthopedist checked the strength of my muscles and they were very weak, hence the reason for physical therapy.

DBT Group was good today.  There were only 4 of us.  Nice and intimate.  No one hijacking the group to talk about things that aren't on topic.

I came home from my two appointments, ate breakfast and went to sleep.  I haven't been sleeping well.  Last night I had dreams about my piggies getting lost on a farm.  I rescued 5 of the 6 of them but couldn't find Smorsie.  It was most upsetting.

Variant Migraines

I saw the ENT doctor today.  He said that I have what's called Variant Migraines.  It means I get vertigo with a migraine whether there's pain or not.  My migraines have been increasing rapidly, so the ENT told me to see a neurologist as soon as possible.  The problem is the Neurologist at my location is booking into November.  It's not even May yet.  He said that if I have trouble booking an appointment sooner, he (the ENT) will call the Neurologist himself.  But the fabulous news is that the MRI came back clean.  No brain tumors or other nasty things I don't want.

Yesterday we got the final word that my husband will not be having back surgery.  His MRI showed that the progression of his disease has significantly slowed, but the pain is real and now he's got to go back and do another round of Physical Therapy.

Tomorrow I have two doctor's appointments.  Group Therapy and then another appointment for my knee.  It's been aching so badly under the kneecap, that my orthopedist wants to see me sooner than my followup in a couple of weeks.  I have a condition (of which I forget the name) where the kneecap is misaligned with the knee.  It's incredibly painful even with my PT exercises. The pain came back really badly, after I smacked my knee into our paper shredder a few weeks ago.

Girly Post

I love makeup.  I wear it so rarely but I love it.  That is to say, I love eye and lip makeup.  I rarely wear foundation or blush.  Today after I got home from my husband's doctor appointment, I got all dolled up.  I would have done it before but I didn't have time as I slept in.  I love my MAC makeup that my sister in law got me as a wedding present.  I still use it.  A few Christmas's ago she gave me more sparkly makeup from MAC.  It was four shades of eye makeup, all sparkly.  Today I am wearing the eye powder from the pink container.

Is this a girly enough blog post?

After I put on makeup I put on one of my favorite dresses and took some pictures just for the hell of it.  It makes me feel good to get dressed up, even if I have no where to go.

Being Fat Doesn't Mean Being Ugly

I wrote a Blog Post a week ago titled "So I'm Fat".  I got a lot of page views and it made me wonder why.  Do people enjoy reading about other people's struggles?  Or can people relate to it?

I wanted to clear something up.  I may be fat, but I also think I'm beautiful.  I have curves, which my husband finds sexy.  I like my face, and I like my figure.  For the most part.  If I could get rid of some of the fat off my abdomen, I'd be happy. But most of it is excess skin from when I lost 75 pounds, so without surgery, I'm kind of stuck with it.

Real men like curvy women.  I've heard that but in practice seen it very rarely.  When I would go out with friends, I never got hit on.  Except for that one time I got proposed to by a service man about to deploy to Iraq.  He was drunk.

I think I have a fabulous sense of style when I try.  Obviously when I go out in sweatpants I'm not trying.  But I love to dress in my own style.  Often it reflects the style of the day, just with a little twist.  For instance, I'm totally into Sweater Dresses which were big this year.  I would wear them with leggings and stylish boots.  I would get compliments in this one red sweater dress from total strangers.  Then I was wearing a blue dress I got last year with a brown cardigan.  I had my hair in braided pigtails, contacts in, and makeup on.  The checkout person at Walmart told me, "You look so  pretty!"  I was very flattered.  Then my aunt or uncle (I'm not sure which because they both use my uncle's Facebook account) told me I looked awesome from a picture I posted of me from that same day.

So being fat doesn't mean ugly.  It means that yes, I might eat more or have a hereditary condition, or are on weight gaining medications, and that I am heavier than many, but I still can rock my appearance and feel good about myself.

Busy Nothings

I have a confession to make.  I slept almost 18 hours last night/today.  Oops.  Now my sleep cycle is all messed up and I have doctors appointments the next three days.  

Tomorrow is my husband's appointment for his back.  The surgeon will make the final decision on whether to operate or not based on the MRI he had last week.  If he doesn't do surgery, we are kind of out of options.  He's already tried physical therapy, injections, and medications. Nothing seems to work.  Surgery was our last option.  

On Tuesday I have to go all the way into Boston to meet with the Ear Nose and Throat surgeon, to read MY MRI.  I'm sure mine will come back clean.  I can't imagine they would find anything wrong.  The pain in my ear has mostly dissipated.  I still get it every now and then, but it's not nearly as bad as it was before.  Although I am curious if it shows why I've been getting so many migraines.  Probably not.  

Wednesday I have my weekly DBT Group.  Then I have Thursday off and I go see my therapist on Friday.  What a week.  I hate having so many appointments in one week.  

I have a new summer hairstyle.  It's nothing new or unique.  I twist my hair into a bun and hold it in place with an elastic.  It's a big deal to me though because I haven't had hair long enough to do this in a decade.  It keeps the hair off my neck and it only takes a minute to do.  

I'm currently listening to my Jenn's Greatest Hits playlist on iTunes.  It's 430 songs that takes 1.2 days to listen to the entire thing.  It consists of just about every genre.  I love listening to it because it's such a wide assortment of music.  You never know what's going to come up next.  

We're out of soda and we didn't have enough Food Stamps to pick any up in this week's shopping trip.  So we're drinking water, which is far better for us anyway.  I am addicted to Diet Coke, so I'm going through a bit of withdrawal and craving it every minute of the day.  But ice water is healthy, so we're going to see how long we can stick with it.  Who knows, maybe I'll start losing weight again.  

Once Upon A Time

I can't wait to see Disney's Live Action Beauty And The Beast starring Emma Watson.  I love her, I truly do.  In a WCW (Woman Crush Wednesday) kind of way.  I will probably watch it a 100 times before I get sick of it.  I love Beauty and the Beast.  I love the Disney animated film, I love the Broadway Musical, I love the soundtrack.  And I hope I will love the movie starring Emma Watson.

Today Max, the cleaner/de-clutter guy, helped me clear off my kitchen table.  It should be usable next week when we put my husband's tool box in the storage room and pull the chairs out of the storage room.  We didn't have time today, but next week we'll get it done and then I can have my Dad over for dinner.  I don't know what I'll serve him, as he's practically Vegan.  He doesn't eat meet or his fat dairy or regular eggs.  So he's not 100% Vegan.  He does drink low-fat milk and eat low-fat cheese.  He's been doing this ever since he had a mild stroke two weeks before my wedding.  That was scary.  I thought I was going to have to put the whole wedding off.  Fortunately he was even able to dance with me, that's how mild of a stroke it was.

I had a migraine earlier and I took some Fioricet and took a nap and now I feel much better.  I hate migraines.  They disrupt life so much.

The piggies hay arrived.  Thank God.  I was feeding them the very last scraps.  I hate it when they run out.  It makes me feel like a bad piggy mother.  Of course they're only out of it for like 12 hours so it's not like I'm depriving them for days, but still, the rule is hay available 24/7.

I'm not in a painting kind of place.  It's been a hard week.  I can't write either.  I just sit here watching the Hunger Games, trying to center myself.  I mentioned in a previous post that the Hunger Games film series is therapy to me.  I use it when I'm in a state of crisis or in a panic attack of depression (I can't explain that any better).  Last night I experienced a panic attack, so I took anti-anxiety meds, put on The Hunger Games, and calmed down.  I wouldn't suggest it for everyone as the Hunger Games is kind of depressing.  But it helps me.  Find the movie that helps you and you can do the same.

Well, I'm off to cook dinner!  A housewife's job is never done.

Friends Cost Money

I miss my friends.  I would see my friends and visit with them if only I had a car.  I can't get a car without money.  I can't meet my friends in a local restaurant because I have no money.

So when did friends cost money?  I'm not sure.

I haven't hung out with friend L in a year now.  I saw two friends and some family for my birthday in January.  That was nice.  I could do that because my mom treated me and my husband while everyone else paid for themselves.  Of course it's hard to catch up with everybody in a span of 2 hours.  And that was the night the Patriots barely beat the Ravens in the AFC East Championship Game.

I see my friends status updates on Facebook, but it's never enough.  Most people don't really post what's going on.

Maybe soon when we have more money, we can get a car and I can finally meet my nephew who lives an hour away.  I can drive to my friends apartments and just spend some time chatting.  No one uses the phone anymore and I abhor texting.

One can dream...

Our GoFundMe Campaign

I hate posting this.  I'm so embarrassed, but the truth is, we need help.  Please check out our GoFundMe Campaign at the link below:

http://www.gofundme.com/sg8a4gk

So I'm Fat

I am fat.  It's true.  I am probably close to 100 pounds overweight.  How did I get this way?  Well the truth is, I love to eat.  So when my metabolism slowed down in my early twenties, I simply did not alter my diet.  I ate out a lot, ate fast food way too often, and I ate a lot.  Nutritionists always show you the correct portion size.  I'm sorry, that's like an appetizer to me.

It's not that I don't care about my health, because I do, I'm just not willing to cut pierogies out of my diet.  Or pasta.  I do like tofu but my husband won't touch it.  I love beef which of course is the fattiest meat.  I will say this, I am very picky about my cuts of meat.  I won't eat the fat on them.  So I'm saving myself, what, two months off the end of my life?

I had a scare with pre-diabetes this summer.  I was put on Metformin, and through diet I was able to get my blood sugar and glucose back to normal levels.  So now I'm not on Metformin, but my eating habits have slowly slipped back to where they were.  I fully expect to have the same problem this year for my Physical.  And besides Diabetes, I have high cholesterol.  I take Lipitor for that.  It brought it down to 132, which is good.  And then there's the ever worrying Heart Disease.  I do not want to have a heart attack.  Not until I'm good and old anyway.

I have been hovering around 245 pounds for almost a year now.  It's gone up a bit and I brought it back down.  But overall I can't seem to lose weight.  In fact I'm surprised I'm not gaining more weight!  I'd say I wish I were losing weight, but the truth is I'm just not trying.  That's worrisome to my friends sand family.  At my sister's wedding, one old Italian man said I look like my sister but I eat more.  Now I think he meant it as a compliment, but I of course was horrified.  And back then I was barely overweight!

So you might think of me as a lazy slob, who just doesn't give a damn, and you might be right, but I'll be damned before I give up eating.  And I don't mean that literally, I just mean eating for enjoyment.

FOX News Is Evil

FOX News is the devil.  Basically it brainwashes easily brainwashable citizens into believing what it is "covering".  The false stories, the denial of Climate Change, The portrayal of Obama as a Muslim (which honestly, even if he was, what exactly would the problem be), the worship of all things Republican.  It's just sick.

Why would anyone deny Climate Change?  That's what I want to know.  It's going to kill our grandchildren.  There won't be a breathable place on Earth and we would have been responsible for so many extinctions.  The Oceans will rise and swallow up low communities, the droughts will be worse.  Have you heard that California is going to run out of water?  And they're still bottling water to sell?  Whoa, that's crazy!  Summers will be hotter, winters will go to extremes.  And what about our oceans and parks that are just full of trash?  How can people think it's okay to just dump trash wherever you feel like it?  There are parts of our oceans what are just miles and miles of trash, yards and yards deep.  Mercury levels in the oceans are rising.  We've over-fished most of the oceans.

Don't get me started on Poachers.  People who kill for fun or to sell ivory or Rhino horns.  You are making them EXTINCT!!!!!!!!!!!!  There will be no more!  How can you live with yourselves?

I can't even go on about FOX News because I refuse to watch it.  All I know are the people who watch it actually believe it's the truth.  From the little I have watched while being over my in-laws' house I have been flabbergasted at the perspective and clear slant of the "news"/

If you're one of the people who watch FOX News, or deny Climate Change, all I can say is I feel sorry for your ignorance.

Free Mali

I couldn't do it.  I couldn't paint an elephant in captivity.  So I painted Mali, living out in the wild as she deserves.  Mali is an elephant living in the Manila Zoo, with no grass, just a concrete pen, all alone.  She's so alone she even holds her own tail.  It's a horrible story.  I have signed petitions to get her freed but so far there has been no luck.  So I painted this in honor of Mali and how I hope she will live sometime soon.

My Process

I started painting again.  This time I am painting from a picture that was taken at some Disney World amusement park 30 years ago.  I am riding an elephant named Peggy.

Now before I spark a debate about the cruelty of zoos and animal rides, all I can say is I was a five year old who wanted to ride an elephant, a once in a lifetime experience.  Now with Mali, the poor, lonely elephant in the Manila Zoo who lives in solitude in a concrete jungle, I can hardly approve of such a life for an elephant.  Perhaps Disney World has changed the ride.  Perhaps Peggy had friends who she hung out with.  Perhaps she had elephant friends who also had adults and children riding upon them so she would not bear the burden for so many hours.  I don't know.  I was too young to ask such questions.

I'm not a member of PETA and I'm not a Vegetarian (or vegan).  I probably would be Vegan if I didn't like the taste of meat so much.  I know the animals are treated horrifically, but I can't get my husband to buy into a meat free diet, and I'm afraid I can't either.  Maybe that makes me a bad person.  I don't know.

Anyway, about my painting.  I did the sky, the grass, and the elephant.  I have so much to add.  The stand, the palm trees, me!  Right now it doesn't look like much, but it will be a typical JStorer painting.  I wanted to paint the elephant photo because I've been so horrifically angry at poachers in Africa who have hunted the elephant to near extinction.  Ricky Gervais posts picture onto his Facebook and Twitter pages of hunters and poachers standing next to dead animals that they've mercilessly killed, sometimes with the orphan still there with it's dead mother.  One of these photos made it into the news.  Perhaps you've heard of the news story?

I realize that it's kind of contradictory for me to paint an elephant in captivity when I'm so outraged about Mali and the Afircan Elephants, but elephants are on my mind.

Here's a shot of my work thus far.

The Boston Marathon Memories

The first time I ever watched the Boston Marathon was when I lived at 485 Park Drive.  We watched the leaders on TV and then when they got to Coolidge Corner, we went outside, down a block and joined the thousands lined up, to cheer them on.  It was kind of cool.  But other than the Hoyts I didn't really know anyone's stories.  I didn't watch on TV and I never went to a race again.  But I was watching the Marathon two years ago.  Why I had it on, I'm not sure.  I remember the explosions and seeing the smoke coming up, wondering what on earth was happening.

Then there was the aftermath.  My mom's friend Jenny had been hurt when a piece of shrapnel lodged itself in her chest.  I remember driving my husband to work the morning of the manhunt and seeing deserted streets and police cars.  We drove right by the neighborhood he was found in.  My husband showed up at work to find no one there. Finally one of the cleaning crew or building staff told my husband there was a lockdown and Honda Village would be closed until further notice.

Last year, my mom's friend Jenny, ran the marathon.  It took her awhile, but she did it!

This year I'm unsure that I'll watch the race.  I will most likely be sleeping, and even if I wasn't, I feel like I'm a jinx, like something bad will happen if I watch.  It may seem silly but that's how I feel.

And then of course there was the trial.  They found him guilty on all 30 counts, and now we must wait to see whether he will get the death sentence.  I'm not even going to write his name, he deserves no such honor.

May this year's Boston MArathon be full of hard work, joy, and tears of happiness.

Damn, Montreal Won

I was kind of hoping for Ottawa to beat the pants off the Habs.  As that is incredibly unlikely, I would settle for squeezing out a win.  Tonight Montreal won.  Congratulations Cousin Ken.  I'm terribly sorry Cousin Kenzie.  Yes, I have relatives in Canada, some of which are Habs fans, some of which are Senators fans, and even some who are Maple Leafs fans.  And even though Ottawa was one of the teams who edged my Bruins out of the playoffs, I want them to win the Cup.  It would mean a lot to my cousin Kenzie who grew up in Ottawa.

If the New York Rangers won the Cup I wouldn't be too devastated either.  Just because they wanted it so badly last year.

That's right, I'm Canadian.  Sort of.  I was born to two Canadian parents in Boston, Massachusetts in the good ole US of A.  So technically I have the right to be either.  I travel with a US passport however, because while Canada accepts Dual Citizenship, the US does not.  And I grew up in the US.  I did go to the University of Toronto for a year.  It was a good learning experience.  And I don't mean learning about what I was supposed to be learning.  I was manic for several months and then I crashed big time.  Huge crash.  That's when I was first put on medication.  I also learned that Canadians really hate the United States.  That was a tough lesson to swallow.  Finally I learned that Law & Order is more fun than going to class.  Oops.

I could write a book on my experiences in Canada.  I might too.  But for now let's just say I didn't go back after 1st year.  I had two surgeries instead and started working at Starbucks.  I worked there for about 8 months before getting a better paying job at Millennium Pharmaceuticals, which I still have dreams about.  But again, that's a whole book of a story.  While at Millennium, I took advantage of their Tuition Reimbursement and went to Northeastern University at night for a few years.  Still didn't get that far.  I have maybe the equivalent of two years under my belt.

I wanted to finish my degree at Mount Ida College in Newton, MA, but sadly my financial aid fell through.  So I am a multiple college dropout, whose team didn't make the Playoffs for the Stanley Cup.

Buh Bye Peter Chiarelli

At last Peter Chiarelli has been fired.  He's made some terrible decisions this year and the end of last year and now it's time to pay for them.  The Bruins didn't even make the playoffs.  That's sad.  Last year they won the President's Trophy.  This year they win the chance to golf several months earlier.

So who will they keep and who will they give up?  There's a lot of talk about Soderberg and Lucic.  Campbell and Paille have already been given up.  Chara has a knee that is permanently damaged.  What happened to my Boston Bruins?

What To Paint?

I have the Billy Boyd song, The Last Goodbye from the Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies stuck in my head. I love the song.  I love Billy Boyd.  I wish I had money and then I would get his band's albums.  For now I'll just have to make do with YouTube.

I want to paint.  I feel inspired.  But I don't know what I want to paint.  At some point I'd like to paint the wedding party from my wedding.  I'm not sure I'm in the mood to do that, though.

I hung up some of my paintings in the Pet Room of our apartment.  I wish I had a house so I could hang up all of them.  And of course my husband doesn't like the portraits.  He feels like they're staring at him, seeing deep into his soul.  So I hung up pictures where the eyes aren't focused straight out.

My husband had his second MRI of his back done today.  The last one was 3 years old and the back surgeon wanted a more up to date one before making a final decision on his back.  We see him in a couple of weeks.

I sent my last painting to some people who aren't on Facebook, one of which is a former boss of mine, and he trashed it.  He said they don't look like realistic cats.  I told him they weren't supposed to be realistic.  That's my style.  I do Expressionist-like work.  Not that I know what that means.  That's what my aunt told me and she took Art History Classes at Queen's University.

Perhaps my painting isn't realistic, that doesn't mean no one wants it.  It's just very stylized, and if you like the style, then you should buy one of my pieces.

My First Professional Painting Job Is A Success!

3 months ago I was commissioned to paint my cousin's two cats.  She sent me two pictures of them and I chose one to paint.  I started thinking about colors and how to create the yellowish hue that is one of her cats.  Then I got sick.  I started having ear infections and then I came down with a violent Bronchitis.  So the painting was put off, of which I informed my client.  A few weeks ago, when I finally stopped hacking up a lung, I thought some more about colors, and then decided I was going to start.  I was incredibly anxious about it at this point.  I had let it build up inside my head, and I wanted it to turn out well.  I was completely doubting my ability.

My confidence started coming back when I started painting.  I got one cat almost done and my husband told me it looked like Jabba the Hut. So I made some alterations and he agreed it looked like a cat.  But my frustration had grown and I had to stop painting.  I cleaned my brushes, still thinking about the coloration of the remaining cat.

The next night I started again.  This time I had a higher level of confidence.  I painted the second cat and after a few hours showed my husband.  He said that it definitely looked like two cats.  I finished up the background and went to bed after cleaning up.  This was a mistake.  I should have wired the painting and wrapped it up to ship out the next day, a Saturday, the only day of the week I could get to the Post Office.  But I didn't.  The next day I overslept (see the post "A Saturday Undone") and didn't get it shipped out.

This past Saturday I made sure it was ready to go.  I took it to the Post Office and found to my delight that it fit in a large "If It Fits It Ships" box.  Now it probably would have been cheaper to send it without the large box, as It wasn't very heavy, but I wanted the security of the box and the fact it would get there Monday (today).  So it shipped.

My client told me when she received the box and that she was opening it.  Then she didn't respond back on Facebook.  I thought Oh no, she hates it!  But then she posted a really wonde3rful post about how much she loved it and she posted a picture.  She was so happy!

So that's it.  I have a happy customer for my first attempt.  Now if only my paintings on Etsy would sell.  They are listed at www.etsy.com/shop/ArtByJStorer .  I have to add more but I'm not sure the dimensions on them.  I have to measure the pictures before I can post them.

Here is the picture I did for my client.

Twinkie's Great Adventure

We have 6 guinea pigs and 3 snakes: a Cornsnake and two Ball Pythons.  Last night my husband held Twinkie the Ball Python, as he often does, and she was perfectly happy wrapped around his warm neck.  He tried to put her back but she didn't want to let go.  My husband then decided to hang out with her in the bedroom, where I was already sleeping.  After a few minutes my husband fell asleep.  Twinkie only stayed put for a little while, then went exploring.

My husband woke up a few hours later in a panic because he realized Twinkie was lost.  He woke me up by trying to see around me to see if she was on my side of the bed on the heater.  I began stressing out as did he, when we realized she was no where to be found.  We went back to sleep because there was nothing we could do in the middle of the night.  I took an anti-anxiety pill and went back to sleep.  All I could dream about was finding Twinkie.

I woke up a few hours later and got up.  I looked under the bed and then started working my way through the disaster that is our bedroom.  I searched the closet, the blankets, everywhere.  Finally I gave up and went to make us breakfast.  After breakfast we both began searching.  After 3 hours I noticed that under one of our dressers there was a 3 inch gap.

I cleared the clothes out from in front of the dresser, shined the work light under it, and got down on my stomach.  Sure enough, she was there.  I picked her up and she was a little chilly.  I handed her to my husband and together we put her back into her enclosure.  She went directly under her heated hide.

That was probably one of the scariest several hours I've had in a long time.  I was afraid if she got out of the bedroom, she might make her way to the pet room and go after one of my little guinea pigs.  Fortunately that didn't happen.

The Bruins Will Be Golfing Tomorrow

I had a good day.  Typical Saturday.  I went to the Post Office, mailed the painting to California, then dropped my husband off to do laundry while I went grocery shopping.  I was so efficient at shopping that when I got back to the Laundromat, it had only been 25 minutes and the laundry was just being put into the dryer.  Once the laundry was done, we headed home, put the groceries away, and just chilled out.  My husband sharpened a few of his knives and I took a nap.  Boring Saturday.

Not quite boring for all the Bruins fans who still have faith.  Apparently I'm not one of them.  They have to win against Tampa Bay who is at the top of the division, and the Pittsburgh Penguins have to lose against the worst team in the league, in order to make the playoffs.  And Tampa Bay just scored.  And the Penguins just scored.  Argh.  Last season the Bruins were top of the league.  What happened?

So now that the Bruins are off to play golf tomorrow, I have to be bored until football season I guess.
Allergy season has started for me.  Today was the first day I noticed them.  I called my insurance company and it turns out Claritin is covered.  I will be picking that up on Monday, thank you very much.  For now it's just Benedryl.

Oh the joys of Facebook.  It seems that I still rely on it for contact with the outside world.  Not working makes it hard to interact with people.  I have my husband who is my best friend, but we shouldn't be together every single second or we'll get on each other's nerves.  If it weren't for Facebook, I don't know how I would get by.  So thank you Mark Zuckerberg, for inventing such an interesting website.

National Siblings Day

Today apparently is National Sibling Day.  I celebrated by posting pictures of my siblings on Facebook.  My biological siblings were in one photo...

And then I did a few more with my step-siblings.  I was going to go full out and include in-laws, but I don't have the right pictures for that.  I believe the above picture was taken Christmas of 1987.  

I love my siblings, all of them, but I haven't actually talked to more than one today.  It seems like a Holiday made up for people to post pictures on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites.  As far as I know there are no greeting cards for National Siblings Day, so it wasn't invented by Hallmark.  

On this day, I didn't do much.  I went to the eyeglass store to pick up my husband's new glasses.  Then we walked around KMart.  Nothing too exciting there.  It's been a slow day.  

In The Dark Of The Night

It's 1:00am EDT.  I am still awake and am not very tired.  My husband and I have to get up at 7:00am to go to a doctor's appointment.  Yuck.  I had to wake up early on Wednesday for my DBT group.  I am too old to pull an all-nighter, but I'm thinking if I go to bed now, will I be able to get up in the morning?  Probably not.

It's at night that things go bump, I hear things and think someone is breaking in and is going to kill us.  The likely hood of that happening are slim to none, but at night I feel a little bit paranoid.  I don't like to be awake at night for that reason, but often my dreams are far worse than reality.  I have nightmares almost every night.  And I usually remember them.  My husband thinks I should start a blog about them.  I think not.

I'm thinking I might have a kidney stone.  I think it's still in my kidney as the pain hasn't gone over a 5 on the pain scale, and if you're ever had a kidney stone, well, you know it's awful when it's moving.  I just off the phone wit the on-call nurse and she set me up with an appointment after my husband's MD appointment.  Although if the pain gets worse I have to go to the ER.  Yuck,  I HATE the nearest ER to us, LGH Saints Campus.  I prefer Lowell General's Main Campus, but it's further away and the EMTs don't want to go that far.  I pray I can manage the pain until tomorrow.  (today, whatever.)

The Hunger Games As Therapy

Wil and Anne Wheaton's dog Riley passed away Sunday night.  This may seem like it has nothing to do with me, but it rips open the old scab I feel about my family dog, Caesar, passing on.  They wrote beautiful stories about their dog, and I know I've done the same about Caesar.  The pain never really goes away.  According to the Pope, our late pets are waiting for us in Heaven.  I believed that even before the Pope said it.  How can they not?  Pets are pure love.

Sigh...

On a brighter note, I had a good day.  I went to my DBT Group, where we had excellent conversations about Distress Tolerance.  I personally put on a Hunger Games movie when I need to pull myself back from a crisis situation.  Thank you Suzanne Collins for your phenomenal series and for Lionsgate for bringing them to life.  I tend to distract when I'm in crisis.  It has proven more useful and far better than self destructive tendencies.

My husband had an appointment for his arthritic hips (mind you, he's only 34) and that went pretty well.  His Bursitis has gotten worse so the Nurse Practitioner we saw, who is very good, gave him a cortisone injection into his right bursa.  We're hoping that does something positive.

It snowed today.  Seriously?  It is April 8th (Happy Birthday Gary and Annie) and it snowed.  I am done with snow.  I want weather in the 60's and 70's, you know, Spring?  I don't like summer.  I hate being too hot.  But the Spring and the Fall are my favorite times of the year.  At least I'm not in LA, where it has already reached 90+.  I can't believe they're going to run out of water in a year.  What are they going to do?  What are we going to do?

Climate Change is real folks.

An Open MRI...Yes Please

Today I had my second attempt at getting an MRI done on my head.  The first I had to stop partway through due to claustrophobia.  This time I went somewhere different, somewhere they had an Open MRI Machine.  This time I was successful.  Woo hoo!  It wasn't that bad, I just drifted off into fantasy land.  Harry Potter fantasy land to be exact.  I've written some fan fiction for Harry Potter and I just went over the storyline in my head.  It worked.  I did take some of my anti-anxiety medication first, just in case.

My appointment with the ear surgeon isn't until the end of the month, so I'll have to wait until then to find out the results.  Although I'm 99.9% sure they'll find nothing wrong.  I got the disc from the Imaging center so when I got home I looked at the images.  I couldn't make sense of it but that's hardly surprising since I did not go to medical school.  Still pretty cool though.

So next time I need an MRI, I'm going to ask for an Open MRI.  If you have the choice, and you're claustrophobic I highly recommend them.

Another Day Another Page

While I had Bronchitis I wasn't working on my book as much.  I started back up a few days ago and today I finally got to the first real drama.  Heroic Experience #1.  The Unluckiest Hero finds herself in a hostage situation where her friends are going to be killed.  So she takes control.  All this happens on Treatment Page 30.  That's right, I've written 30 single spaced typed pages in Word.  I need to go back and add more back story and descriptions.  Right now it's more of a concept than a 1st draft.

Other than that the day has been rather unremarkable.  We did feed the snakes which is always great fun.  We use frozen/thawed mice and rats because I don't think I could stand feeding them live rodents.  Rusty the corn snake gets 2 adult mice, while Twinkie and Monty, the Ball Pythons, each get a medium rat.  It's so fascinating to watch them eat.  The way they stretch their jaws, it's something else.

The Bruins have improved a little.  They might even make the playoffs if they can manage to win the next few games and Ottawa doesn't catch up.  And now Chara is injured.  Oi.

My piggies are quite happy at the moment.  Eating hay and pellets.  They already finished their veggies for the day.  HEre's a picture of me and Oreo during cuddle time.

Who Are You?

I always wonder...Who actually reads my blog?  Who are you?  How did you come across it?  I know some people find it through Facebook and Twitter, but those are mostly my friends, and I'm not sure how many of them read this.  I can't find my own blog when I Google my own name, how can others find it?  Do they Google the titles and then just happen to come across it and click on the link?  Do you not even read the whole thing?

So I have no way of asking you how you came across this other than to ask you to comment, and that's only something you can do if you have a Google account.

But please, if you do read my blog and are reading this, thank you.  I love checking the Stats and discovering a few more people from around the world read my humble little blog.  (Okay, so maybe I'm not always humble).

Here's a picture of me that I took today.  Just a face to go with the name.

Happy Easter and Happy Passover! The Babblings of A Lost Soul

Ah Easter, the holiday I'm supposed to feel moved.  I was raised Protestant, and for awhile I was going to First Presbyterian Church of Waltham.  I liked the church and I liked the pastors.  But money was an ongoing problem and the pastors had to leave the church.  I moved away and so I have been church-less for quite some time now.  There is a church within easy walking distance that I want to try.  It's Tewksbury Congregational Church, a United Christ Church.  I am iffy though because my faith has wavered.  And it has to be LGBT friendly, which I can't tell from the outside.

My faith has wavered for a lot of reasons.  I always used to associate myself with being Protestant, but recently I'm feeling more Agnostic.  I can't get over how so many churches teach hate instead of love and acceptance.  And I'm not sure I believe in Easter anymore.  Which to be honest, scares the hell out of me.  I remember way back when we still went to Park Street Church in Boston, there was an Easter sermon that really moved me.  I want to feel that again.  Maybe a good starting point would be to go back to church.  I can't expect to get moved sitting in bed all day.  I do still pray and talk to God.  And no, he doesn't talk back in the way that makes me either a Saint or a crazy person.  But I get peace talking to Him.  Or Her.

So I'm not an Atheist.  But I'm not really feeling organized religion either.  Is there a place for me at Church? If it could find my faith again, I think I would like that.  I'm just a lost soul.

So this Easter and Passover, I have felt nothing.  I don't like that.  Will church solve that?  I think I'd like to find out.  Stay tuned.

My Saturday Undone

I finished my first Professional Painting job last night.  Unfortunately I was up way too late.  I took my bedtime pills and fell asleep after midnight.  When the alarm went off at 7:40am I could not for the life of me wake up.  My step father arrived at 8:30 and I was still asleep.  I slept through until he left, picked up my mom, and came back, with my mother giving me a stern lecture about keeping him waiting for an hour.  I could not wake Jason up who had gone to bed after 3am.

I went to PetSmart, Petco, Market Basket, and CVS.  I was supposed to also do laundry and mail out the painting I had completed the night before.  Only I couldn't find my packing supplies to wrap the painting so that didn't happen.  I'll have to go later this week.  I promised my client she would get it soon and I have got to follow through.  She's so excited about her painting and I can't wait for her to have it!  And laundry, yikes, I just did not have the time.

So why go to both PetSmart and Petco?  The guinea pig food is only sold at PetSmart, and the snake food is only sold at Petco.  Fortunately they are across the street from each other.

Now I am doing surveys for money online, and hanging out online.  I will cook a wonderful dinner for my loving husband and we will relax and prepare for tomorrow.  Tomorrow we are going to my in-laws for Easter.  That will be nice.

How I Met The Great Shawn Boyle

In Junior High, all my friends were in the school play.  I wanted to join in the experience but was too shy to ever audition. So in 7th grade, with a broken leg and a bright blue walking cast, I joined the set crew of Anne of Green Gables.  I had so much fun that the following year I became Set Director for Once Upon A Mattress.  I ran the Set Crew, made sure props were in place, helped the actors get ready, and soaked the lead actress before her appearance as having swam the moat.

I was still too shy to act, so in High School, I took Art 1 as my elective.  I learned a little bit, but none of my friends were in Art.  They all took Drama.  After school I worked on a lighting crew at a local community theatre and I thought, why not?  Why not take Drama?  Sophomore Year, I dropped Art and was put in a Freshman Drama Class.

The first day of Drama, I was assigned to sit in the front seat, as my last name at the time was Ashdown.  I felt a tap on my shoulder.  There was a boy sitting behind me.  "You're Jenn Ashdown."
"Yes."  "I followed in your footsteps.  I was the Set Director after you."  "Okay."  "You dated Andy Tannenbaum."  Worst thing he could possibly say.  Andy and I were not fond of each other anymore.  I turned back around.  He tapped me again.  "I'm Shawn Boyle."

And that is the story of how I met my best friend 20 years ago.  He is finishing up his Masters in Fine Arts at Yale School of Design this year.  Soon he will be designing shows on Broadway.  No I'm serious.  That's not a pipe dream.  He WILL be working on shows on Broadway, and already has.  He is a very talented Projection Designer as well as Lighting Designer.  One day he will win a Tony Award.  I wish he'd take me but he says he's bringing his mother to the Tony Awards when he's nominated.  She deserves to go, after all she raised him!  But I'd like to think I had some influence at one time.  Way back when I was a Lighting Designer.  He's way more talented than I'll ever be but I did have a few shining moments.

April Fools!

Today is April Fools Day, at least for another 23 minutes it is.  There was only one story I fell for, which was that Tuukka Rask was having surgery on his brain and would miss the rest of the season.  For some reason I fell for it and at the end I felt like an idiot.

My husband and I decided not to do any April Fools pranks on each other.  I think I prefer it that way.  It was a relatively low key day.  I started out by going to my first DBT Group Therapy session.  It was good so I told the psychologist that runs it I would be back.  Every Wednesday morning I have to be up at the crack of dawn, but that's okay.  I should be getting up early anyway.

After the group therapy I waited outside for my ride.  Usually they're not more than a few minutes late.  So I called the transportation office after waiting for a little while and they told me that the driver who was supposed to pick me up got a flat tire.  It would be another 30 minutes.  30 minutes pass and I call back.  I am reassured it will only be another 20 minutes.  35 minutes after that another driver shows up to take me home.  Ugh.

I cuddled with Oreo tonight.  She's so sweet.  She lay on top of the cushy comforter and purred, and would stretch and yawn.  I love my piggies.

The Bruins are going to need a miracle to hang onto the Wildcard spot for the Playoffs.  Ottawa's been hot the last month, and they're itching to take back the slot.