Today part of my world came tumbling down. I knew I was behind on the car payments but I didn't think I was that far behind. This morning as I walked my husband to the door for him to go to work and school, we watched dumbfoundedly as our car was repossessed. The shock lasted about an hour as Jason called his boss and told him incredulously that he wouldn't be in that day.
The shock turned to tears. And what seemed to be the end of existence. I called Toyota Financial and they told me all the information I would need to get my car back would be mailed to me in a letter. Now I know I don't have the money to get it back so Jason and I are talking about getting an old clunker and him fixing it up in shop class. That only works if they auction off the car for more than we owe on it. Otherwise we have to keep making payments on it. Well that sucks.
So I posted in my distress that today was the worst day I've had in a very long time on Facebook and I got some question marks as comments. I broke the news and one of my old friends told me to call her in a few hours. I did. She just lost one of her best friends the week before and it made me realize, it's just a stupid car. It's just stupid money. It's not so bad. No one died because of it. I thought about death today. Was death better than having no car. My husband told me I was being stupid and he was right. Now I'm thinking about death in a whole new way. I have life. I should thank God for every precious moment. Am I heading towards living on that park bench. Maybe. But at least I have my husband. And I have my family.
One day I'll look back at this and laugh at how I got so upset over a car. In the meantime though, send positive thoughts my way. I could really use them.
Monday, April 28, 2014
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Hunger Sucks
We're watching Lifetime Movies (don't ask me why) and right now we're watching Starving in Suburbia. It's this really disturbing movie about Anorexia. It's a serious topic and one I've been accused of even at my large weight. I dropped 20 pounds in a month and my doctor was concerned. The truth was I was starving but from lack of food. Hunger is another big problem in our country. If I were a Miss USA contestant 1) I probably would have some kind of eating disorder and 2) I would want to end World Hunger. There is nothing worse than starving yourself so someone you love can eat. I've done it, and some people I know have done it. Usually for their children.
We were finally eligible for Food Stamps and I stocked up our shelves and freezer. Then my husband worked two shifts at a garage before he got sick. The IRS reported to the Department of Transitional Assistance that he was working. They didn't care that it was only two shifts and that he had a MegaBacteria and didn't work for 1.5 months. I dropped off his paystubs so they wouldn't shut off our food stamps and they said they were recent enough. I just can't win. So I have to wait for him to get another pay stub and drop that off. Hopefully we will still be eligible for Food Stamps
I hate not having enough money. Not enough money means not enough food. I've had eating disorders in the past. And I've starved for lack of food. Neither is pleasant and this movie is especially disturbing. The lengths people go to for perceived beauty and perceived control is frightening. The effects on the internal organs, especially the heart can be irreversible (I believe). I've gone days where all I've eaten is a spoonful of peanut butter. Was it because I had no food or am I secretly desperate to lose weight. One of my best friends is pressuring me to lose weight. I guess they're not really a best friend. Although my doctor wants me to lose weight, but in a healthy way. She wants me to see a nutritionist. I'll go when I can afford the healthy things. The cheap food is crap.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. If you're starving because you have an eating disorder, get help, please. And if you're starving and the government can't or won't help you, check out food pantries.
Hunger sucks.
We were finally eligible for Food Stamps and I stocked up our shelves and freezer. Then my husband worked two shifts at a garage before he got sick. The IRS reported to the Department of Transitional Assistance that he was working. They didn't care that it was only two shifts and that he had a MegaBacteria and didn't work for 1.5 months. I dropped off his paystubs so they wouldn't shut off our food stamps and they said they were recent enough. I just can't win. So I have to wait for him to get another pay stub and drop that off. Hopefully we will still be eligible for Food Stamps
I hate not having enough money. Not enough money means not enough food. I've had eating disorders in the past. And I've starved for lack of food. Neither is pleasant and this movie is especially disturbing. The lengths people go to for perceived beauty and perceived control is frightening. The effects on the internal organs, especially the heart can be irreversible (I believe). I've gone days where all I've eaten is a spoonful of peanut butter. Was it because I had no food or am I secretly desperate to lose weight. One of my best friends is pressuring me to lose weight. I guess they're not really a best friend. Although my doctor wants me to lose weight, but in a healthy way. She wants me to see a nutritionist. I'll go when I can afford the healthy things. The cheap food is crap.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling. If you're starving because you have an eating disorder, get help, please. And if you're starving and the government can't or won't help you, check out food pantries.
Hunger sucks.
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