7 Years of Bliss...Actually That's Not Quite How The Story Goes

Yesterday was the 7 year anniversary of the first date of me and my husband.  Ordinarily I would never remember such a date, but as I have an email sent the day following, I am able to track when the event took place.  7 years.  7 years ago, I had my husband over to watch Back to the Future and order in subs.  I got a steak bomb, one of the messiest things I could have gotten.  He wasn't phased by watching me eat it.  Then we watched the movie.  He tentatively reached over and held my hand.  After the movie, we talked and talked.

And that was it.  We stayed in touch but didn't go on another date for a year.  I even dated someone else in between.  We've never been able to pinpoint what happened that caused us to become friends first, but somehow it helped us out in the long run.  He told me that I was his best friend and that he still thinks of our first date.  That sunk me.  I was like, why are we not together.  So I asked him out again.  This time things progressed to marriage and beyond.

I love my husband and can't imagine how I ever survived without him.  He completes me.  I know that's cheesy but it's true.  Before him all I knew was loneliness.  Now I feel completely together.  He helps my mood, and he makes me want to be a better person.

I'll leave you with a picture I took Saturday, of the two of us, just hanging out.

Another Busy Day of Nothing

Today was a typical Saturday.  Get up early, go to the grocery store, go to CVS for prescriptions.  Except this time we had to go to Sears in New Hampshire to pick up a power tool for my husband.  You may be wondering how we were able to purchase said tool with no money.  Well my husband and I have been taking online surveys for money or gift cards, and using those he was able to purchase the Impact Driver. So up we went to the Rockingham Park Mall in Salem, NH.  It wasn't a long trip, maybe 20 minutes up Route 93, but endless for us who don't have a car.  Fortunately my step father who was driving us to the grocery store this weekend agreed to take us.

Now I have some time left to work on my book and my latest painting project.

It's snowing again.  10th weekend in a row.  It's supposed to be Spring.

The Bruins won today.  There's a slim chance they might make the playoffs, which is drastically different from last year when they won the President's Trophy.  I continue to hope against hope that Ottawa starts losing and we keep winning.

Tomorrow is the 7 year anniversary of my first date with my husband.  Time sure flies and at the same time I can't imagine life without him.  But that's the blog for tomorrow.

I'll Have An MRI With A Side of Claustrophobia

I am still battling bronchitis, but when I woke up this morning I hadn't had a coughing fit in a while.  So I went to get the MRI done of my head.  I downed the rest of the Robitussin with Codeine and went on my way.  When I got there I filled out the questionnaire and they got me set up.  I lay on the table, no coughing.  They put the head cage around my head.  No coughing,  They loaded me in and I thought, "Good God, how did I do this before?"  I made it exactly ten minutes before a full on claustrophobia attack happened.  I had to stop the test.  It was a combination of trying to keep from coughing and the fact there wasn't enough air flow.  So I called the doctor's office who ordered in and was like, "I tried, but I failed."  The woman said that next time they're give me valium and they'll do an open MRI.  She's going to call to schedule me tomorrow.

After the failed MRI attempt I had an appointment in my PCP's office to check to see if I had pneumonia as I wasn't getting better.  She ended up putting me on prednisone and increasing my inhaler puffs.  I have tried EVERYTHING to decrease the coughing.  Now, I just have to wait.

I've had to put the book on hold for a week while I've been sick.  I'm also at the point where I'm not sure where I want the story to go next.  As for painting, I'm going to start in a few days, finish the painting that is long overdue, and get it shipped out to my client on April 4th.  I'm so tired of letting all these sicknesses interfere with my artistic creations.

A Dark Past and a Step Forward

I have a few secrets.  One of them is that I have been sexually assaulted by 3 different men.  The first was my babysitter.  He would come into my bedroom every Friday night and molest me.  The second was a teacher who I thought loved me, making our physical relationship okay.  Boy was I messed up with that one.  It went on for 5 years, off and on.  Lastly, I was date raped in the year leading up to meeting my husband.

I just want to say how glad I am that I have my husband, whom I know will never hurt me.  It's the first normal relationship I've had since I was 21.

I've made a decision.  I just got off the phone with the Arlington Police, and I'm going to report two of the 3 people.  I can't report the 3rd because I know nothing about him.

This is a big scary step and I am terrified.  Nothing may come of it, I think the statute of limitations is up, but I will be heard.

Two Procedures Down, One Imaging Test To Go

I lived through the weekend.  I don't know how but I got a few hours of sleep between Saturday night and Monday morning.  Hacking up a lung is never fun while prepping for a colonoscopy and endoscopy.  Well, it's never fun to do wither, but when you combine them it really sucks.

I showed up at Lowell General Hospital, got whisked right into prep, and before I knew it, the anesthesiologist was listening very carefully to my lungs.  If he didn't like what he heard, the procedures were a no-go.  I swear he listening for 3 straight minutes.  Finally he says, "Okay, we're good".  I was wheeled into the procedure room where I sat for about 10 minutes.  They were starting half an hour early and I guess weren't entirely prepared.

Then the burning started.  That's how I knew I was getting the anesthetic, my arm and right side started burning.  And the next thing I knew I was being wheeled into recovery.  All very much by the book.  For once in my life, my colon looked good.  The endoscopy showed my stomach had irritation so they took biopsies to check for H. Pylori.  I'll find out in a few weeks.

PHEW

I was supposed to get an MRI yesterday, but I called them up and was like, it's a no go.  I can't lie still on my back for 30 minutes without hacking up a lung.  It's just not going to happen.  I rescheduled for a week from now and changed my followup appointment with ENT.

As far as the Bronchitis goes, my fever broke, but I am still in a lot of discomfort.  I can't sleep.

On the bright side, the Hay order I put in arrived within 2 days.  Yay!  Hay for the piggies!  I got $30 worth of hay for $20.  They were very happy to receive it.

Bronchitis Complicates Things

I have 3 diagnostic tests to be done on Monday and Tuesday.  I have a colonoscopy and endoscopy on Monday, and a head MRI with contrast on Tuesday.  Well a few days ago I developed a massively awful deep cough.  Today I went to Urgent Care and sure enough I have bronchitis.  Yuck.

I'm not sure it matters for my GI tests.  I asked yesterday if it mattered if I had a cough and they said as long as I don't have a fever I should be good to go.  Well I don't have a fever.  So I'm going to go ahead with the prep.  For those of you who don't know, the prep is far worse than the actual procedures.  I just drank Magnesium Citrate and am now chasing it with water as instructed.  Then tomorrow I have to mix Miralax with two bottles of Powerade.  At 3am the day of the test I take more Miralax with Powerade and hope that I am cleaned out, otherwise they cannot do the test.  Gross, right?  TMI?  Maybe, but it's something we all must go through if you have the good fortune of living to the age of 50.

I'm not 50.  I'm 35.  And I've already had 2 colonoscopies and an endoscopy done before.  That's how I know the prep is rather unfortunate.  I have a history of colitis and colon polyps.  I also had internal bleeding a few weeks ago, which they want to check out with the endoscopy.

So damn the Bronchitis!  I'm going to go through with at least the first two tests.

Page 19

Ah, young love.  It is a thing to behold.  It has it's ups and downs.  I'm on a down part in my story.  The two main characters are starting to realize they have feelings for each other.  It's only page 19.  Too soon?  Probably.  But this is just a treatment of the story.  A kind of outline.  In case you missed it, I'm writing a novel.  It's not a romance novel (my mother in law wants to read it) so it's probably going to end up PG-13.  Maybe a novel for young adults.  I doubt anyone else would find it interesting.  I've been working on it for 4 days now and am halfway through page 19.  I have written over 10,000 words.  An accomplishment?  Perhaps.  Or it could just all be rubbish.

I feel like if I'm going to effectively do research for this movie, I will need to travel to London.  That's where most of the story takes place.  It starts off in Los Angeles, so maybe I will have to go back there as well.  If only I could afford to travel.  Maybe one day.

I have set up camp in our living room on the couch, which the cleaners cleared off for me today.  But the tray table is too high and there's not enough back support, so I may need to switch from the couch to the office chair in the Pet Room.  Being comfortable is also key to writing.  That's what I've discovered anyway.

I haven't painted in 3 months.  Yikes.  This ear infection has been the death of me.  I'm kind of hoping once my endoscopy and colonoscopy are done on Monday, I'll be in a painting kind of place (mentally).  I have a project ready to go, I just have to get in the right mindset.  I'm nervous too because someone paid to have me paint the picture.  I think that's built up in my head.  I have to tear down those walls and get cracking!

The Unluckiest Hero

I've finally started writing a novel that I may want to get published. I started it Tuesday and now (On Thursday) I am up to 15 pages written.  IT being a first draft, I'm sure it will end up having a lot more details in a later draft.  I may need some help editing.  And unless I pay to have it published through something like lulu.com, I'm not positive how to get a publisher's attention.  Everyone wants to be famous and have a book published.  They must have some kind of screening process, but how I take the first step is a mystery to me.

The working title is "The Unluckiest Hero."  It's about a woman in a dead end job finding her passion and following her dreams.  Kind of like rags to riches only she has a dark past which comes out eventually.  She's far from perfect, being overweight, Bipolar, and a former cutter.  Yes it is loosely based on me.  But I make significant changes to how I grew up as to not embarrass my family.  My main character is also younger than I am, which is a first.

I think it will be a fun book to read.  A little bit of humor and a little bit of drama.  It's a work of fiction I hope I can be proud of.

The Countess Ashdown

In 2004 and 2005 I started writing again.  I hadn't written a novel in nearly 10 years.  The first novel was untitled.  It was 365 handwritten pages that I wrote during high school classes instead of following along in my studies.  The second novel entitled "For Fun" on my computer, grew from a very wild imagination.  It is very dramatic, and the heroine is literally a hero, saving 4 people's lives throughout the story. It is only 118 single spaced typed pages long, and not quite finished.  It was only a first draft or treatment of the story.  I just reread it and I realize just how much I left out.  But it spans a period of almost 15 years, The main character, the Countess Ashdown, is loosely based on me.  She doesn't start as a Countess.  She doesn't finish as one either.

I am debating whether to change the names (I used real celebrities in it as characters) and allow people to read it.  Although it is horribly out of date and would require a massive rewrite.  I doubt anyone I don't know would like it, but my friends might get a kick out of it.  My family may not as they are in it and even if I change the names, they're still going to know it's them.  I don't speak highly of all my family.  Hmmm...  Perhaps I've said too much already.

I like to write.  I've started about 40 stories since The Countess Ashdown.  I think the longest of those is about 120 pages, but most of them peter out at about 20.  They're all stories of how I imagine my life would be if I created something wonderful and got thrust into the world of Hollywood.  In this particular story my character creates a movie as part of a contest and not only does it win the contest but gets distributed, earning nominations.  Yes I know how unrealistic it is, but it's MY story to tell.  MY fantasy world.  Perhaps it's dangerous sharing a fantasy.  But Jo Rowling did it and created an entire world.  Tolkien did it too.  Why can't it be my fantasy that becomes the next big thing?  Ha ha ha.  I'm only kidding.  I'm not an author.  I'm just a writer who loves making her fantasies words on a computer screen.

My Sad Excuse For A Busy Day

I wish I could say that I had a fabulously exciting busy day.  Full of adventure, good company, and good food.  Actually, minus the adventure part, I guess it was a good busy day.  I started the day by oversleeping.  Oops.  My stepfather was almost here to take me to do laundry and go grocery shopping by he time I got up.  My husband and I threw on some clothes and I negotiated that we could go to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast.  After Dunkin Donuts we went to the laundromat with 3 large bags of dirty laundry.  We hadn't done laundry in 5 weeks.  The machines that we would have liked to have used were occupied so we crammed 2 bags worth into the super large washer and I divided the remaining bag into 2 washers.  Exciting right?  I took up 5 giant dryers to get our clothes dry in 35 minutes.

The next stop was the grocery store.  I had a list (for once) and we made a whirlwind trip of the store.  Did I mention my stepfather had to pick up my mother from Lowell?  Well she was ready before we even got to CVS which was where everything unraveled.  My husband changed health insurance March 1st so his prescription was billed incorrectly.  I wasn't about to pay $253 for his anti depressant.  So they had to rebill it which took longer.  I bought the laxatives for my colonoscopy prep.  Then when it was ready the woman in front of me was old and couldn't understand why her coupon for baby products wasn't good when she wasn't buying any baby products. Then she paid with a check.  The CVS worker accidentally put my husband's prescription in the old ladies bag.  Big oops.  She was really distraught and I felt bad for her.  They quickly refilled the prescription and we were off.  Meanwhile my stepfather was half an hour late picking up my mother and he was still half an hour away.

Once home we put away the groceries and my husband did last night's dishes while I baked the brownies for my in-laws who were coming over for coffee.  They arrived exactly on time as they always do and we had a great visit.  My mother in law brought pictures of my husband when he was little, which I'd never seen before.  I scanned them into the computer and will post them in Facebook when appropriate.

We got into our clean pajamas once his parents had left and hung out in bed.  I got hungry and made tofu pad thai for myself.  I offered my husband some but he said he would have cereal.  To each his own.  Now I'm tired and it's only 9:00pm.  We lose an hour of sleep tonight for Daylight Savings Time so perhaps going to bed now would be appropriate.

So all in all I had a good day.  Not very exciting but necessarily busy.  And I had a great visit with my in laws.  We fed the snakes and the guinea pigs.  We fed ourselves.  And tomorrow I can relax and do nothing.  I'm going to leave you with a picture of my husband as a baby.

Nanny & Grumpy

Nanny and Grumpy are my paternal grandparents.  Grumpy got his name because he was grumpy about being old enough to have a grandchild and the name stuck.  They have been married for over 60 years.  Nanny is 93 years old and Grumpy is 88.  I think.  They both were born in London and both of them served in the army.  Nanny was in charge of an anti-aircraft gun.  I'm not sure what Grumpy did during the war.  I should ask.  They met at a dance and had a short courtship.  After the war they moved to Canada, serving in the Canadian military.  Grumpy has been stationed in the Middle East and India.  Nanny became an administrative assistant and Generals used to argue over her because she was that good.  In 1953 they had my dad, their only child.  They traveled so to give my dad some normalcy they sent him to boarding school in Ontario.

I remember still, going to visit them in Ottawa, which is where they lived after Grumpy retired from active service and got a desk job.  There was a restaurant on top of a tall building there that revolved so you could see the whole city while you ate.  Visiting them was always special, as it was special visiting my other grandparents too.  I only got to see them a couple of times a year.  They were strict having been a part of the military, and I didn't always understand them.  But I love them.  As I got older and more well behaved I became very close to them.

After retiring they moved to Nova Scotia then North Carolina.  Eventually my Dad convinced them to move up North to Boston so we could be near them.  I got to see them all the time after that which was wonderful.  They live in Brookline now, which is sort of Boston.  But then a year ago I lost my car and I couldn't afford to take public transportation to see them.  They had gotten rid of their car a few years ago.

But then something wonderful happened.  After I got out of the hospital on Monday, Nanny insisted on seeing me.  She asked Grumpy to rent a car and they drove up to my town outside of Lowell.  We had a lovely visit.  Nanny got to see the guinea pigs, and niether of them wanted to see the snakes.  After living around poisonous snakes in India, I can't say I blame them.  But we had a good chat.  Nanny is very frail now so I had to be careful while hugging her, but she's hanging on like a trooper.  I am so glad they came.  It meant so much to me.

I know I'm lucky to be 35 and still have grandparents and I count my blessing everyday.  Especially since I have as wonderful grandparents as they are.

Morphine Hospital Visits

With all the health problems I've been having, I did not need another, much less two.  That's precisely what I got the same day that the ENT told me I needed an MRI.  I was lying in bed at about 5pm when my lower left abdomen started hurting.  Now I have un-diagnosed chronic pain there that my GI is trying to figure out with a colonoscopy. As the evening progressed however, I became extremely nauseous and (I know this is TMI) that I was passing black stools. When I started vomitingf at 11pm I decided I should get evaluated.  I called for an ambulance and successfully got the driver to take me to Lowell General Hospital, Main Campus.  Saints campus is closer but after my great adventure in January dealing with those nitwits, I did NOT want to go there ever again.

The ambulance arrived at the hospital and I was immediately taken to a room where a doctor immediately saw me.  They took blood and did a CT scan.  They checked my stool for blood and it came back positive.  Great, I was bleeding somewhere in my GI tract.  And to top it off I had diverticulitis.  I couldn't keep anything down, not even water, so they admitted me.  My first room was in the basement of the hospital, next to where people go to detox.  I spent several hours there in which I was visited by a Hospitalist and a GI specialist.  They told me they were going to treat me with strong antibiotics and morphine for the next few days.

I was moved up to the 3rd floor and settled in.  My mother brought me flowers, my husband brought me my cell phone charger and my Kindle so I could go online. I spent the3 next few days getting 2mg of morphine every 3 hours.  The funny thing was, I got so used to it that it stopped making me "high".  That can't be good.  After four days I felt better and requested to be discharged.  I was sent home by bus (carrying a large vase of flowers) and found my piggies in good order.

My discharge instructions were to follow up with PCP in two days, follow up with GI doctor in one week, and to get a colonoscopy as soon as the infection was gone to see if I'm still bleeding.  They think that I have an ulcer from all the ibuprofen I took while dealing with my ear pain.

I was treated well and taken seriously.  Something that does not happen at Saints Campus.  Thank you ambulance driver for indulging me.