Happy New Year! Welcome Year of Trials and Tribulations

A little over 2 hours ago, my husband and I changed the television station from the Three Stooges marathon to a network station and watched the final 4 minutes of 2014 slip by.  At midnight I kissed my husband, then we toasted to the year 2015, me with cheap champagne and he with sparkling apple cider.  We looked at the live shot of Times Square in NYC, before turning back to the Three Stooges marathon.  I plugged myself back into my computer and listened to showtunes.  It all went without much ceremony.  Just a quiet New Year's Eve, just the two of us.

As I look forwards to the new year I have to wonder about 2015.  I'm going to be 35 in less than two weeks.  That's the age when childless women really start to rethink their decision not to have children.  I probably can't have my own children anyway, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), but sometimes I do want to be a mom.  Children are out of the question, we simply can't afford them.  We can barely take care of ourselves.

2015 brings in some medical concerns.  My husband will most likely have his back surgery in a few months time.  We pray it will greatly improve his quality of life.  Back surgery is a scary thing to undergo, though I suppose open heart surgery is worse.  We just have to trust the surgeon not to sneeze during surgery, paralyzing my husband.  (I'm only kidding, honey, that won't happen).

I hope the Bruins improve in the year 2015.  They had a lousy Fall of 2014, let's see if the new year brings new attitude and strength to the team.

So to all those that are experiencing the New Year by celebrating with alcohol, PLEASE do not drive drunk.

Abstract Paintings For Sale

My paintings are now on sale at www.etsy.com/shop/AbstractArtByJStorer

I have only added 10 to the store at this point.  I don't have measurement for most of them as they're still wrapped in storage.  I will need to pull them out, measure them, and add them to the site.

As I mentioned in the last post, I can't paint again until I buy more paints in two weeks.  But I have over 70 in storage so keep checking back as I will add a few each day.

I Need Acrylic Paints

I painted for the first time in almost 4 years on Christmas.  I painted again the following evening, only to discover that many of my paints were dried up or almost gone.  Black was a crushing blow, as "The Cliffs of PEI" required a black coat.  I improvised and used dark purple instead, since both tubes of black had rubberized.

To solve this problem I asked for gift cards to either Michael's or A.C. Moore from anyone who wants to give me a present.  My mother-in-law is going to take me on an A.C. Moore shopping spree the day before my birthday, which is less than two weeks away.

But in the meantime, I can't really paint, and I really want to!  My husband suggests that I sketch, but I just am not as into sketching.  I do have watercolors, perhaps I can experiment with them.

We ordered a toy for the piggies for Christmas and 3 of their birthdays,  Penny and Bernie just turned 3, and Amy will be 3 in about a week.

I don't want to talk about the Bruins.

Here is my latest abstract painting, "The Cliffs of PEI"

All I Want For Christmas...Is Paint

I got a lot of things we desperately needed for Christmas this year.  A month ago, our last fitted sheet for our King Size bed ripped.  I got two sets of 600-thread count sheets.  I also got, towels, dish towels, a calendar, socks, hay for the guinea pigs, 2 plush PJ pants, and an HDTV amplified antenna.  It was a good year.  I appreciate all I got and I only wish I could reciprocate.

I got home from spending the afternoon with my in-laws, and a strange urge to paint came over me.  I didn't know what I wanted to paint, but I wanted my acrylics and I couldn't for the life of me find them after an hour of searching.  After initially giving up, I decided to attack the pile of boxes in the corner of the living room.  Sure enough, in the very last box I opened, there they were.  I haven't painted in years.  I had blank canvases, paints, and a drop cloth.  I think my easel didn't survive the move last March, so I set up shop on the bed, using the head board to lean my canvas against.  An hour and a half later, I was finished.

When I had asked my husband what I should paint, he suggested a landscape.  He can't stand my portraits, as he feels like the eyes are staring into his soul.  So for Christmas I gave my husband a painting to hang in our purple bedroom.

'Tis The Season

I have only a 320GB hard drive on my computer, and it's almost full.  So for Christmas I asked my father for a TB internal hard drive.  It arrived and I created a recovery disc, and then backed up all my files onto an external TB hard drive we have.  The backup took almost 5 hours.  Then my husband removed the 320GB hard drive and installed the TB hard drive.  We placed the recovery disc into the DVD drive and booted the computer, only to find out we needed to create a system image.  So my husband took out the TB hard drive and put the 320GB harddrive back into the computer.  But the system image was too big, so I deleted all my music, photos, movies, and videos.  I got it down to 70GB.  After 2 hours of creating the system image, We switched the hard drives AGAIN and loaded the system image onto the TB hard drive.  Then I retrieved the files from the external TB drive.  After I'd done that, I went into My Computer to look at all the free space I now had, only to see it was only registering 320GB!

We searched online and tried updating the BIOS but to no avail.  Finally we called HP, the manufacturer of my laptop.  After trying to charge us $59.99 to help, the guy finally admitted that my computer won't take a TB hard drive, it will only use 320GB.  I was distressed.  So we decided to return the TB hard drive.  But it already had all my files on it.  So we downloaded a drive wiping program and changed the boot order to boot this disc.  That took 20 hours to wipe the internal hard drive.  We removed the TB hard drive and put my original 320GB hard drive back in.  Then I retrieved my files from the external hard drive only to discover that my playlists in iTunes were no longer there.  So I spent the last 5 hours recreating my playlists.

My computer is now exactly as it was, with little room to add anything else.

Instead of the hard drive, we bought an HD amplified TV antenna for our TV, since we got rid of cable.  Between that, Netflix, and a free sports website my brother referred me to, I think we'll get by.
We also got socks for ourselves because our bedroom eats socks.

Yesterday we went to The Yard in Manchester, NH to see two of my husband's aunts, their significant others, and his parents.  It was a lovely family brunch.  They practically had to kick us out we were having such a good time.

Today my father came to our apartment to visit.  We had coffee, Christmas cookies, and a nice chat.  Then he took us to Walmart to buy Sparkling Grape Juice for New Year's Eve, and a present for my husband's parents.  It was nice seeing my father.

The Bruins actually won a game.  It was sad though, that it took overtime minutes to beat the Buffalo Sabres.  I mean come on, it's Buffalo!  I'm praying that with the return of Chara and Krejci they actually start winning again.

The Patriots are AFC division champs.  And since Denver lost tonight, the PAtriots will have home field advantage for the Playoffs. Yay!

Searching the Soul For Plastic Surgery

I am overweight.  But I'm not as obese as I used to be.  I am 5'8" and at my heaviest, I weighed 322 pounds.  Standing on that scale was a wake-up call.  So since that moment 8 years ago, I have been losing weight.  I'm down to 245 pounds but that has plateaued out and I'm stuck.  My abdomen is covered in loose skin and under my arms are more sagging skin.  Now I lost the weight on my own with no gastric bypass surgery.  I have lost 77 pounds, which is like dropping a 10 year old off my frame.  So what do I do about all the leftover sagging skin?  

I talked to my PCP first and she said there really isn't a way to get rid of it except for surgery.  So she wrote a referral for me to see a Plastic Surgeon.  I was referred to someone who didn't take my insurance and was told that even if they did take my insurance, it wouldn't be covered since I didn't have gastric bypass.  I felt as though someone ad locked me in a prison.  So I called my nurse case manager at my insurance company.  She told me not only would they pay for the consultation, but would most likely pay for the surgery!  She is going to get back to me on Monday with a name of a covered surgeon.  

I confess I am very excited about this, though surgery really isn't anyone's first choice.  But there are physical health reasons I want to do it, not just the mental ones.  I am still carrying a lot of weight in the extra skin which is affecting my posture, balance, and causing me back pain.  In the summer I get heat rash under them.  I would be so much happier if I could get this skin removed.  

I broke the news to my mother last night and surprisingly she wasn't against it.  I told my father tonight, and I was so sure he would vehemently be opposed to it, I was shocked to hear him be supportive.  Not because he's a bad dad, but just because he doesn't blieve in unnecessary surgery.  But I think my parents know how much this would mean to me and can see the benefits of helping me.  

I have had a little bit of negativity, but I haven't definitely decided to do it.  I want to meet with the surgeon first and see what he/she has to say about it.  

So I've been doing a little bit of soul searching, and after all, it's not to make me look more beautiful, it's to make me healthier.  

Ready To Work

It's finally time.  After almost 7 years I am finally able to go back to work.  I am very excited for the right opportunity to come along.  In fact, I may have found it, fingers crossed.  I have an interview scheduled for Monday, December 1st and I couldn't be more ecstatic.  It is a great job, doing things I have already done.  I know how to do it and I get my foot in the door.  The job description said that there's room to grow which is just what I need.  The commute is a bit tricky.  Two buses and the commuter rail.  I did find a shortcut though, originally I thought I had to go all the way to North Station and back track to Somerville.  Now I've found that I can get off in West Medford and walk two blocks to a bus that will take me two blocks from this company.  The buses don't run often which makes it a bit tricky so if they're open to my working my eight hours from 9 to 5:30 it will work out. Once I get a car, I can work the usual 8:30 to 5:00.  I just hope the interview goes well.  I also hope my professional wardrobe still fits, as I have lost a significant amount of weight.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

In other news, the Bruins lost to the Habs.  I'm not all that surprised.  Half of the team is made up of Providence Bruins and they're all rookies.  I hope that the players recover quickly, we need them back.  They did win Friday night against the Columbus Blue Jackets with a great comeback.  There's hope for this rookie team.

My piggies are all well.  The snakes just shed and that was pretty cool.  Monty needed help with her shed but Twinkie's shed was almost completely clean.  Rusty is about to shed.  I can't believe how big they are getting.  My husband weighed Twinkie and she's 10 pounds!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Throwing Water On A Grease Fire

Tonight the Boston Bruins played against the Maple Leafs in Toronto.  The game was a nightmare.  The Bruins weren't playing.  They didn't mentally even show up to the game.  The final score 6-1.  If only Chara was playing...

The Bruins were on a five game winning streak.  Not anymore.  Tomorrow they play in Montreal against the dreaded Habs.  I HATE the Habs. The Bruins had better show up and kick some Habs' ass. 

I love the BRuins, even when they lose.  Twitter is full of Naysayers who are constantly like "Trade Rask" or "Trade Chara".  No team can win EVERY game.  All teams have to lose sometimes.  Even Rask has off nights.  Because he is human.  And Chara is in great shape (other than his knee injury) and is a great player.  I would not give up so easily on players just because they have a bad night.

In other news.  I weighed Oreo and she's a hefty 3 pounds.  Bernie has spurs on one of her feet which I will have to get removed by a vet.  The piggies now have double the space to run around in as we have added an extension to their habitat. 

I broke my 4th toe on my left foot three weeks ago.  It was pretty painful even though it was just a toe. 

Oh Bruins...

Dear Boston Bruins,

Please wake up and communicate on Saturday for your next game.  Yes, you won on Opening Night but if it weren't for Chris Kelly's last minute goal, you might have lost in overtime or a shootout.  I realize that Krejci is injured but you must get your act together.  Tonight's game you did not play your best.  Your Offensive Zone Time was half of what Detroit's was.  Thank goodness for Tuukka or you might have faced a bigger loss. 

Now I KNOW you can pull it together and bring the Stanley Cup back to Boston, but it's best to start the season off on the right foot, so to speak. 

Sincerely,
A Diehard Bruins Fan

PS  I have black and gold hair this season to show my love and support of the team. 

Peter Chiarelli, Are you sure you know what you're doing?

Okay so I get it We have a salary cap and it prevented us from keeping Iggy, but why are we filling so many spots with young players?  It's killing us in the preseason, which I suppose is the point of the Preseason.  See who works well who skates well with whom, etc.  But man, my Habs loving relative is razzing on my because the Habs have won 24 Stanley Cup Finals and the Bruins only 6.  Although our last won was only three years ago, and one year ago we made it to the Final. 

I WANT THE BRUINS TO WIN!!!! 

So there you have it.  We're getting our asses handed to us in the preseason but hopefully that means we triumph in the regular season, and go all the way through the playoffs. 

GO BRUINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guinea Pigs Save Lives, Please Don't Feed Them to Snakes

I love my piggies.  You must know that if you've been reading my blog posts.  I manage a Guinea Pig Page on Facebook (I Love Guinea Pigs), and I belong to a closed guinea pig group on Facebook.  Now I know that people initially think guinea pigs are easy to take care of and are good starter pets, but that's not true.  They require love and attention.  They require unlimited supplies of hay, pellet food and vegetables with vitamin C.

Now I hear horror stories that snake owners troll Craigslist looking for free guinea pigs to feed their snakes.  I can't stand this thought because my six piggies all have different personalities and social structures.  Piggies are not snake food.  If you need to give up a piggie, find a loving family or else a rescue organization.  Piggy Haven out of St Paul, Minnesota has a great one if you live in that area.

Just to be clear, I have three snakes of my own.  None of them are big enough to eat guinea pigs so it's all okay (we keep them separate just to be sure.)  I can't feed a living animal to another.  We buy frozen/thawed mice and rats for our snakes.

My piggies have saved my life.  When I've been down in my deepest hole, I pick up one of my snuggle muffins and I feel better.

Here are some pictures to leave you with:

Family Vacation 2014? Or Was It A Non Vacation

Every year for the past 12 years, My mom's best friends' sister lets us use their property to vacation in.  I always stayed in the main house in one of the bedrooms by myself.  I would get lonely and play with our dog mostly.  Then I met my husband and for the first year we'd been living together, we went to Liberty together.  There was a pool and a frog pond, a big field, The big house, the small spider infested house, and as of last year a hot tub.

Last year we couldn't go because my husband was in school.  So this year I agreed to sleep in a tent.  My mother had some extra materials like a few lanterns, a 10x10 tent, an airmatress and a two person sleeping bag.  So this year we were going to do it.  Our trip was cut two days short as my mom and stepfather had to fly to California for his youngest brothers funeral.  Rest in peace Tim.

We got there and it was getting close to sundown so we hurried to put our tent together.  My oldest nephew helped us and we got it together fairly quickly.  Then we pumped up the air matress and put our stuff inside.

My brother-in-law cooked dinner for the four of us who had arrived that day.  We ate dinner and discovered that my brother in law's brother (B) and his wife (BR) had come two with their two children.  For privacy matters I'm going to call them LC and PC.  LC was full of energy, 5, and always wanted your attention.  PC on the other hand was scared of me and my husband because she was super shy of strangers.  My sister C and my brother in law V were there along with their kids F (who had helped us with the tent) T, and my niece L.

The first night I slept remarkably well.  Until it got super hot in the tent.  We got up and discover B had made Bacon Pancakes. They were good.  We walked around and then started gathering firewood for the first fire my husband built.

We had it going from mid afternoon til well after dinner.  The next day I overslept again and my mom made us eggs and bacon with toast.  After lunch we went swimming in the freezing cold pool.  My husband actually got black eyes and a blue nose so we got out.  Then we went into the hot tub.  It was nice.  We showered and got dressed and had a nice lean roast that my mother cooked.  Tonigh V started the fire and B, BR, LC, and PC were all leaving after S'Mores.  They had unpacking to do as they had just moved and BR was starting a new job in a week.

This is when the vacation kind of fell apart.  My husband had wanted to get to know my sister C better.  So he suggested some movies to watch.  We ended up watching The Strangers, by ourselves.

The next day my husband decided to build a huge campfire so he started collecting firewood early.  He built a massive fire and started it at about 4 pm.  He put huge logs onto it and lots of medium sized fire wood.

It burned all the way through til about 10:30.  My husband got really depressed because everyone had congregated around V's fire the night before but very few people came up and stayed with us.  He wanted to interact with people but he felt like no one wanted to interact with us.  It was a tough last day.  It rained a lot, though in the end we decided to go in the hot tub after dinner, in the on and off rain.

So here's a picture of our tent:

While packing up I fell over and got a nasty spasm in my back, and twisted my knee and ankle.  So we didn't really help clean the house even though we were expected to because of my injuries and my husband's bad back.  That pissed everyone off.  Oh well.

On the way home on the Masspike there's this 6 mile steep hill and at the bottom is the Runaway Truck Ramp which everyone knows I have a crazy obsession of.  So I'll leave you with this last image.

Snakes Don't Like An Audience While Eating

I wish I had some kind of clever double meaning to the title.  But I literally mean our snakes don't like eating while we're watching and have the light on.  We attempted to feed all four snakes their various size mice and rats but they weren't really into it like they usually are.  Or at least used to be.  Ever since we moved they haven't been nearly aggressive when it comes to their food.  They're kind of like, "Okay, I'll straggle it for a few seconds, then put it down, then maybe I'll sniff it and if you're lucky I'll eat the damn rodent."

So tonight Rusty the Cornsnake ate one of her three mice then disappeared into her hide.  We left Peanut his fuzzies because he eats them overnight while no one is stirring.  Then I fed Twinkie the Ball Python.  Ordinarily you dangle it in front of her hide and she snatches that thing and strangles it to death (by the way, we use only frozen/thawed mice and rats so this is instinct, not actual killing) then eats it after 5 minutes of strangling.  Tonight she didn't even strangle it.  She ran from it when I dangled it in front of her so finally I just put it down and left it there.  Monty the Ball Python leaped out and strangled hers right away and then released it.  We decided to bow out gracefully and let nature takes its course.

Before we left though, Monty and Twinkie had started on their Medium sized rats.  We turned off the light and left.

I went back half an hour later.  Rusty had eaten her other two mice, Twinkie had polished off her medium rat, and Monty was searching for more.  Thank goodness.  We'll check on Peanut the Sand Boa's progress in the morning.  He spends most of his time in the sand and sometimes it takes him a day or two to realize food is there.

Healthy Living Isn't So Bad

It took me a few weeks to process that I have Pre-Diabetes before I actually began to make lifestyle changes.  Now, instead of eating heated up frozen foods, I grill some chicken, throw it over a salad and add a light balsamic vinaigrette.  I eat healthy portion controlled sized lunches and fruit for snacks.  I also started walking.  I can't let myself end up with Type 2 Diabetes.  I just can't.  I have the opportunity to fix this and I'm going to.  It also helps that my husband is making the changes with me so I'm not doing it alone.  I admit I crave food that's terrible for me, but not having a car makes it so I can't just run to the store and buy cake or ice cream whenever I feel like it.

My wrist is still painful.  I can't bear weight on it in certain positions.  I should probably wear the splint more.  I just want to be better.

I mentioned my hair in the last post.  Here are a few pictures so you can see how red it is.

The Black Widow Avenger

So my wrist is out of the cast and my foot is out of the boot.  I feel almost back to my old self again.  My wrist still won't take weight in certain positions but I'm sure that's just because it's been immobile for 8 weeks.

The 4th of July came and went.  The Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular was moved to the 3rd because of Hurricane Arthur.  Then thunderstorms moved in and they had to cut the program short.  Oh well.  At least I saw fireworks from the comfort of my own home.  Hurricane Arthur just brought a lot of rain.  Not really a big deal for us.

I am changing therapists.  I don't like the one I had and I'm willing to wait another 4 weeks to meet with the psychologist who comes highly recommended.

I saw two movies last night at my in-laws.  What About Bob? and 90% of The Avengers.  We didn't get to see the end because my husband's parents had to drive us all the way home then all the way back, after their usual bedtime.  I can't wait to have a car again.

I dyed my hair.  It's very dark and very red.  I kid around on Facebook and called myself, "The Black Widow" after the character in The Avengers movie.  Though I'm not as thin nor as deadly.

The Dark Of The Night

As I sit here in this oppressive heat with no air conditioning, trying to get tired enough to go to sleep, I am watching the angelic face of my husband sleeping.  The light is on next to me and the laptop is balanced on the bed.  But when the light goes out I had better already be half asleep.  Yes, I am a 34 year old woman is afraid of the things that go bump in the night.  I am convinced that every sound is someone coming in to murder us in our sleep.  It doesn't help that a month ago a police officer showed up at our door asking for "Corinne".  I told him no one named Corinne lives here now.  I asked him what it was about and he said the Malden Police would like to speak to her.

So in my mind people are after this "Corinne" and might come looking for her.

With the light on it's a silly story,

With the light off it's reality.

I think I am confused.

Concerning Test Results

The good news is that my calcium, thyroid, and parathyroid levels are all normal.

The bad news is my cholesterol and Glucose is high.  I have been diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes.  But if you look at the numbers I am only 2 points below Type 2 Diabetes.  So I'm changing my diet, and I went for a walk yesterday (without my boot, shhh!  Don't tell my doctor).  It's really depressing actually because I've been losing weight.  I've lost almost 40 pounds in the last year, yet now is the time I get it.  I guess I'll just have to lose more.

Dinner will be the tricky meal.  I get a version of meals on wheels for lunches.  They're actually pretty good.  And I don't have to worry about portion control.  But dinner...  Tomorrow I'm going back to cooking chicken, veggies, and potatoes.  No more frozen crap for us.  My husbands physical is two weeks away and he's afraid he'll have the same diagnosis or worse.  So we're going to go walking together and eat healthy together.

In the meantime I've been put on metformin for the pre-diabetes and Lipitor for the high cholesterol.  I just hope I can motivate myself to change.  This is a real wake-up call.  Time to make the coffee and live my life.

The NHL Awards 2014

Congratulations to Tuukka Rask and especially Patrice Bergeron who walked away with 3 honors.  Tuukka won the Vezina Trophy for being the best darn goalie of the year.  Bergy won the Selke Trophy, the NHL Foundation Award (or something like that) and the cover of NHL 15 Video games.  So for all those that I drove crazy with all my tweets and retweets (all 3,000 of them) with the hashtag #NHL15Bergeron I once again apologize but he won!

Sadly Zdeno Chara did not win the Norris Trophy for which he was nominated.  Maybe next year Big Zee.

Bergeron's speeches were well articulated and put together.  Tuukka's was...well... he admitted he was terrified.  At least he remembered to thank his girlfriend who just gave birth to their daughter 2 months ago.

Chara and Rask made the 1st NHL All-Star team, while Torey Krug made the All-Rookie Team.  Not sure what that means yet but I'm sure I'll find out soon.

Follow Up With The ENT Doctor

I've been to two appointments today.  The first was with the Ear Nose and Throat doctor.  He scoped me and didn't see anything.  Good news thus far.  Next step is a barium swallow test.  Then I get referred to gastroenterology.

The other appointment was my first meeting with my new therapist.  There was a LOT of paperwork to fill out.  No deep psychological breakthroughs today.

Now I need to eat something. I couldn't eat this morning because I had to fast for blood-work from my physical.

Let's Double-check That, Shall We?

I had my 3 year physical exam today.  My doctor didn't know about my broken wrist and broken foot.  What?  How did she miss out on that excitement?  You see, I came in on the weekend to get x-rays so it's possible the report eluded her.  I explained what happened and she was concerned that I broke my bones so easily.  So she ordered a calcium test.  She is also checking my cholesterol level and checking to see if I'm diabetic.  Then I told her I've been having trouble swallowing things.  So she ordered a thyroid test.  She also ordered a parathyroid test in case it's acting up again (I had a parathyroid tumor a few years ago).  Then she referred me to an ENT doctor for my swallowing problem.  Other than that it was uneventful.

Two more weeks in a cast and my giant boot.  The hand surgeon says I'm healing nicely.  Which is fantastic!  No more frozen food, I'll be able to cook and clean again!  Speaking of cleaning, organizing and unpacking, my nurse has informed me that it's all been approved.  I will get several 4-hour blocks of time with the people who will help me out.  I'm super excited for that.

Tomorrow my husband and I are cleaning out the snakes' enclosures.  Then we'll clean out the piggies' playpen.  It will be a pet day.  The day after I see the ENT and start with a new therapist.  I'm hoping we click because I hate shopping around for therapists.  I'm not ashamed to say I need one.  Tons of people see therapists these days.

Now I'm going to share with you a picture of my blue cast.

Where I'm Heading

As I lay here in bed, listening to my Hunger Games playlist, I ponder where I am and where I'm going.  Where I am now is a non functioning member of society.  Sad but true.  I am married so that's something.  That's a lot actually.  Maybe I'm being to hard on myself.  I do that.

Where do I want to go?  I want to work with animals, even if it's just a few hours a week.  I want an Emotional Support Dog, trained to help me with my hallucinations and make me feel loved and safe while my husband is at work.  I would get one now but I can't afford a dog.  Vet visits and food add up.  Until my husband is done with school and has a full time job as an ASE Certified Technician, it's not really an option.  Oh but how I wish it were.

In the meantime I have my precious little guinea pigs who squeal when I pick them up, but snuggle and give kisses once they've settled down.  They make me happy but they're not litter trained so they have a tendency to relieve themselves whenever they feel like it whether you're holding them or not.

A dog would teach me more about responsibility and force me to get up in the morning.  I would get exercise walking my dog and we would curl up on my king sized bed while we waited for my husband to come home.  Then we'd leap off the bed and race to the door to welcome him home from work with some hugs and a kiss or two.  It sounds nice, doesn't it?  I can dream about it, can't I?

Confusion With My Health Insurance Company

So a few weeks ago I got two sets of visitors from my Health Insurance Company.  This health insurance is available to those in the state of Massachusetts who are on Medicare and MassHealth.  The first set of people to visit told me that they would set up people to come help me unpack and organize, then they would bring someone in to help me clean the kitchen and bathroom.  Then I had a second set of visitors a week later, who introduced themselves as my case manager and my nurse.  We talked for over an hour about how they could help me find a local therapist who could see me once a week, and how they could help me with a bunch of other stuff ( a little too personal to share).  Well 10 days passed and I hadn't heard back from anyone so today I started calling people.  It turns out the people who were going to help me clean transferred my case.  So now I'm in red tape limbo.  My nurse did call me and let me know they had taken care of some of the things we talked about and how they were trying to get a therapist who would come to my house initially.

So through all of this I have remained calm and know that it will all be figured out.  Anyway, on a positive note I have found a great place to volunteer.  It is an MSPCA location at Nevin Farms.  Once we get a car again, I can go there once or twice a week and volunteer!  It's only about 10 miles away.  And I get to work with all the animals.  I love animals.  I'm very excited and can't wait, hopefully it won't be too far away in terms of time.  In the meantime I have the piggies and the snakes who need my love, and I am giving it to them whole-heartedly.

Broken Wrist, Broken Foot, But Not A Broken Spirit!

I haven't written in awhile because I had a series of accidents that left me with a broken foot and a broken wrist.  So I'm going to give this a go typing with one hand.  I'm feeling more upbeat about life.  Don't get me wrong, we still have no car and money is just as tight as it ever was, but being with my husband through all of this has kept me sane.  I've gone manic since we lost the car and experienced the subsequent crash, but it only lasted a day.

My husband recently came across a blog of someone who is bipolar.  He's been reading it trying to get a better understanding of the disorder.  I suppose it is especially hard to live with someone who is bipolar.  I've gotten kicked out of an apartment for it and its symptoms.  But he is a loving and supportive husband who loves me with all his heart.  I am so thankful for this I can hardly put it into words.

Enough about that.  So the series of unfortunate events that landed me in this state.  I was waiting for a fried to pick me up and she texted me that she would be late.  I went next door to the Veterinary Hospital to see if they took snakes and guinea pigs.  I went around to the back where the entrance was.  There was a sign that said "Watch Your Step".  I saw a little lip where the door was and thought that's what the sign referred to.  I opened the door and stepped inside only to find a step down.  My ankle took the weight, turned and I heard two cracks.  The receptionist hurried over to help me up.  I got up, asked my question (they don't see exotics), and limped out.  I went out with my friend and her adorable twin babies and just limped through the pain.  When I got home I called my doctor and set up an appointment.  Then I called for a ride.  I went to wait outside, on crutches now, and I fell down the stairs, breaking my left wrist, and badly bruising both kneecaps.  Needless to say I was a wreck.  Then after all that my ride didn't show.

The next day my stepfather took me and my husband (who had been at work through all of this) to Urgent Care where they did x-rays and determined the damage.  Yikes.  Now I have to see a hand surgeon every two weeks and another orthopedist for my foot.  But I'm doing much better.  I got a purple cast for my wrist which makes me happy (the color not the cast) and a big black boot for my foot.

In other news, the piggies and snakes are doing well considering we don't have air conditioning anymore.  The snakes I'm sure love the heat and humidity and the piggies have their own fan.

All in all I'm doing well.  I do have more to report but my right hand is getting tired so I'll stop for now,  I hope everyone had a great weekend!

If Only Price Was A Sucky Goalie

That's it.  The Bruins season is over.  I'm so sad.  I thought they had a real chance.  But after their game 6 and game 7 performances against the Habs it's not surprising they lost.  They weren't playing Bruins hockey.  They were playing High School Hockey against the NHL.

That being said, I'm still getting my Bruins tattoo. I love the Bruins and will be counting down the days until they play again.  And maybe next season we'll even score tickets.

So Good bye Bruins.  Until next year.  Go enjoy the golf courses.  

Life Isn't So Bad. At Least It's Life.

Today part of my world came tumbling down.  I knew I was behind on the car payments but I didn't think I was that far behind.  This morning as I walked my husband to the door for him to go to work and school, we watched dumbfoundedly as our car was repossessed.  The shock lasted about an hour as Jason called his boss and told him incredulously that he wouldn't be in that day.

The shock turned to tears.  And what seemed to be the end of existence.  I called Toyota Financial and they told me all the information I would need to get my car back would be mailed to me in a letter.  Now I know I don't have the money to get it back so Jason and I are talking about getting an old clunker and him fixing it up in shop class.  That only works if they auction off the car for more than we owe on it.  Otherwise we have to keep making payments on it.  Well that sucks.

So I posted in my distress that today was the worst day I've had in a very long time on Facebook and I got some question marks as comments.  I broke the news and one of my old friends told me to call her in a few hours.  I did.  She just lost one of her best friends the week before and it made me realize, it's just a stupid car.  It's just stupid money.  It's not so bad.  No one died because of it.  I thought about death today.  Was death better than having no car.  My husband told me I was being stupid and he was right.  Now I'm thinking about death in a whole new way.  I have life.  I should thank God for every precious moment.  Am I heading towards living on that park bench.  Maybe.  But at least I have my husband.  And I have my family.

One day I'll look back at this and laugh at how I got so upset over a car.  In the meantime though, send positive thoughts my way.  I could really use them.

Hunger Sucks

We're watching Lifetime Movies (don't ask me why) and right now we're watching Starving in Suburbia.  It's this really disturbing movie about Anorexia.  It's a serious topic and one I've been accused of even at my large weight.  I dropped 20 pounds in a month and my doctor was concerned.  The truth was I was starving but from lack of food.  Hunger is another big problem in our country.  If I were a Miss USA contestant 1) I probably would have some kind of eating disorder and 2) I would want to end World Hunger.  There is nothing worse than starving yourself so someone you love can eat.  I've done it, and some people I know have done it.  Usually for their children.

We were finally eligible for Food Stamps and I stocked up our shelves and freezer.  Then my husband worked two shifts at a garage before he got sick.  The IRS reported to the Department of Transitional Assistance that he was working.  They didn't care that it was only two shifts and that he had a MegaBacteria and didn't work for 1.5 months.  I dropped off his paystubs so they wouldn't shut off our food stamps and they said they were recent enough.  I just can't win.  So I have to wait for him to get another pay stub and drop that off.  Hopefully we will still be eligible for Food Stamps

I hate not having enough money.  Not enough money means not enough food.  I've had eating disorders in the past.  And I've starved for lack of food.  Neither is pleasant and this movie is especially disturbing.  The lengths people go to for perceived beauty and perceived control is frightening.  The effects on the internal organs, especially the heart can be irreversible (I believe).  I've gone days where all I've eaten is a spoonful of peanut butter.  Was it because I had no food or am I secretly desperate to lose weight.  One of my best friends is pressuring me to lose weight.  I guess they're not really a best friend.  Although my doctor wants me to lose weight, but in a healthy way.  She wants me to see a nutritionist.  I'll go when I can afford the healthy things.  The cheap food is crap.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rambling.  If you're starving because you have an eating disorder, get help, please.  And if you're starving and the government can't or won't help you, check out food pantries.

Hunger sucks.

Watching Someone You Love Suffer

About a month ago my husband's cheeks turned red.  A few weeks later he went to see a doctor who told him he had foliculitis.  She prescribed some cream, told him not to shave, and gave him some antibiotics.  Well a few days later he broke out into pustules and it hurt him so badly for me to apply the cream.  We called the doctor and they didn't seem to understand how much pain he was in and how bad the pustules were.  They told him to wait out the antibiotics.  We called back the 24 hour line and they suggested Cetaphil Cleansing wash.  We got some of that and then his face was on fire.  I called again and insisted he see someone.  He met with a Nurse Practitioner who actually recognized the severity of his situation.  She put him on a stronger antibiotic and told him to come in to urgent care the next day.  His white blood cell count was 15.8.  The next day, a Saturday, we went to see another Nurse Practitioner.  She immediately started him on IV antibiotics.  They left the port in and told him to come back the next day for more.

The next day (Sunday) we went back and my husband was feeling dehydrated and dizzy so they ran more blood.  His white blood cell count was up to 18.  They called Lowell General and had him admitted directly.  While there he saw an Infectious Disease doctor and the Hospitalist.  They tested for all sorts of bugs and my husband went through all sorts of blood draws (he is TERRIFIED of needles) painful salves, bandages, medications, IV bags, IV antibiotics, and pussing.  A LOT of pussing.  The pustules on his face would burst.  Eventually they wrapped his face.  Poor guy looked like he'd had plastic surgery.

Anyway, through all of this I was there to hold his hand and was there from morning til night.  It was hard on me but hardest of all was knowing he was in so much itching burning pain.  He was in the hospital for five days.  They prescribed him strong antibiotics and new ointment to put on his face.  He found that taking hot showers helped so he spent a week in the hot shower just letting the water open his pores.  Then I would put the ointment on it.

Today we saw the dermatologist.  And I noticed something new.  The pustules were coming back.  So now the plan is to increase the antibiotic from twice a day to three times a day.  He sees the same Infectious Disease doctor from the hospital in less than a week and then the dermatologist and his PCP the week after that.

In the end the hospital report suggested it was MRSA and some other unidentified bug.  My husband is a real mess.  I thought it was over but it's not quite there yet.  I would post pictures but I don't want to gross you out.  Anyway, bottom line is it sucks to be in that much pain and it sucks to see someone you love in that much pain.

Bergeron for the Gold

Bergeron and Team Canada for the Gold, Loui Eriksson and Team Sweden for the Silver, and Tuukka Rask for the Bronze.

Team USA I salute you.  You made it to the finals.  You just didn't make it as far as you expected.  Is that arrogance that the country is appalled?  I don't know.  You played valiantly but Team Canada was destined for Gold.  And even I am surprised you lost against Finalnd.  I don't know enough about Finalnd other than Tuukka Rask's ability to totally kick ass hen he's on.  And he was ON.  But I raise my beer to you tonight team USA.  Next time pick Torey Krug as a defenseman and I'll root for you too.

It's unfortunate that Patrice Bergeron didn't look happier about winning the Gold.  I think he is suck a good alternate captain he was concerned for teammate Loui Eriksson, which makes him a totally cool guy.

All in all it as a good Olympics for the Bruins.  I feel badly for Chara whose team never won.  But Chara as a single player can't win the competition.  And Krejci played exceptionally well too.

I'm proud of my Bruins.

GO BRUINS!!!  Now kick those Sabres asses Wednesday night!

Team USA vs Team Finland

I have gotten a lot of flack for rooting for my Bruins over Team USA.  I would root for Team USA if they had picked Torey Krug, an excellent defenseman.  Maybe next Olympics.  But I'm a Boston Bruins fan through and through.  Now They will bring home 1 Gold, 1 Silver, and 1 Bronze.  That's pretty good.  I personally am rooting for Team Canada tomorrow because I'm half Canadian.  But if Sweden wins, that's okay too.  Loui Eriksson has worked hard this Olympics, as well as Patrice Bergeron so I will be happy either way.

And as for the people who called me a commie I'd just like to say go screw.

Team Finland dominated this game.  They played well and deserved to win.  Tuukka Rask got a shut-out which I thought should have been pointed out more.  And go Tuukka for wearing his Bruins Mask.  I know it has the Finnish flag on the sides but I thought it brought him good luck.  He made me proud today and I think if he had played yesterday the Finnish team could have beaten Sweden and plaed in the Gold/Silver round.

And for the record, and I think I mentioned this in my last post, I was rooting for Team USA Women's Hockey.  And no I am not a jinx.  I don't care what you say Gary.

Canada VS Sweden

A Bruin will win the gold and another Bruin will win the Silver.  And if Finland defeats the USA, another Bruin will have the Bronze.  Patrice Bergeron may not have scored the game-winning goal today but he was part of a team effort and that effort beat the US Hockey Team.  Now my parents are Canadians but I was born here in Boston.  Which makes me half and half.  So if the USA had won today's game I wouldn't have been disappointed other than the fact there's no Bruin on the US team.

Loui Eriksson is on the Swedish team which beat a Tuukka Rask-less Finland.  Where Tuukka was I'm not sure.  I heard a rumor he was ill.  It would take a lot to keep him from playing a game.  Anyway, they beat Finland and are guaranteed either a silver or gold.  Canada beat Team USA so they're guaranteed a medal as well.  It should be an interesting bronze medal game.  Hopefully Tuukka's back in the net.

I'm looking forward to seeing the Bruins play again.  I can't wait for the season to start up again.  Put Chara back where he belongs.  With competent players. Nothing aginst Team Slovakia but I wish they had one at least one game.  Chara can't single handedly win games.

Okay, I'm moving in 10 days, I should go pack.  I'll comment again after the Bronze Medal game.  

4 Snakes and 6 Guinea Pigs Welcome...But No More!

We just put down a deposit on our new apartment.  They are letting us have the snakes and guinea pigs provided we don't get any more.  It's a great 2 bedroom apartment with no upstairs or downstairs neighbors.  Just one next door neighbor.  The landlord is responsible for snow removal and there's parking right outside the apartment.  The walls are interesting colors.  The kitchen is Blue and brown, the bedroom is purple and the second bedroom is bright orange.  We will be repainting at some point.

The heat, hot water, and gas for the stove/oven are included in the rent so that makes it even more affordable.  We don;t use that much electricity so we're golden.  We've decided to drop our phone line as it's just too much of an expense.

The best thing is it' even closer to Jason's school and there are lots of car places in the area.  The only major downers are that there's no laundry and dishwasher.  I've been without before I can do it again.  There is a closet that looks suspiciously like it housed a washer and dryer at some point so I will ask the landlord about that.

It's a great place but it will be weird having to get new doctors.  It's abut 30 miles away from where we live now so things will be different.  I will miss parts of my current community but not others.  I'll miss the speedbumps like I'll miss another hole in the head.  Ha ha ha.

Now I just need to work out the logistics of moving.  We'll need a truck and movers, volunteer movers I might add.  There might be pizza involved as a thank you.  If I was rich there would be money involved.

Anyway, things are going to work out, I have faith.

They CAN do it without Big Zee

Patrice Bergeron stepped up as Alternate Captain in a big way, scoring two goals against Ottawa.  Final score 7-2.  In a way I feel badly for Ottawa.  Their hearts just weren't in it.  And I feel badly for my cousin Kenzie who wants them to win the Stanley Cup especially this year.  Sorry Kenz, the Bruins are a force to be reckoned with.  When they play a consistent 60 minutes, which rarely happens.  They usually have to come back with a spanking third period.  They can do it a lot but not all the time/  As much as it pains m to say it, I don't think the Bruins will bring home the Cup.  Not unless they come back from the Olympic break really kicking ass.  They have more away games than home games which isn't a good sign.

But I have faith the Bruins will go far in the playoffs.  They just need to pull it together for all three periods.  And Tuukka needs to play consistently.  Tuukka's great, don't gt me wrong, but there are some nights he's just off.

I look forward to seeing the Men's hockey in the Olympics.  I'll be happy as long as one Bruins wins the gold, silver, and bronze.  And Team USA can win too I guess.  I think it's funny that the only three Americans on the Bruins are Kevan Miller, Torey Krug, and Matt Bartkowski.

Go Bruins!

Can the Bruins hang on without Big Zee?

Big Zee (Zdeno Chara) got a great honor at the Olympics.  Not only is he on the Slovakian Men's Hockey team, but he got to carry the Slovakian Flag.  But how are the Bruins doing without him?  Well thy lost in overtime to the St. Louis Blues.  We'll see how they do tomorrow, the last game before the Olympic Break.

I watched the opening ceremony just so I could see Chara carrying the flag.  He looked so happy.  I hope Slovakia medals.  I'm routing for Team Canada for Patrice Bergeron and of course I'm rooting for Team USA.  If those three teams could medal I'd be happy.

I have great news, the repeat arsenic test came back negative.  My GI doctor thinks the first test I must have eaten something with arsenic in it.

The Bruins Are On Fire!!! And Oh yeah, someone's trying to kill me!

Look out Bruins opponents, the Bruins have scored 6 goals in each of the last three games.  We'll see how they do on Thursday against Montreal.  But that Shawn Thornton goal, what a beauty!  And Chara scored his 500th NHL goal last night, making tonight's goal his 501st.  Way to go Zdeno Chara!  Brad Marchand is another player who's been on fire.  He had a streak of I think it was three games where he scored two goals each.  Tonight Lucic scored two.  Is there no stopping this team?  Again, we will see Thursday night.

I have been wearing my Chara shirt the days of the games so as you can imagine, it's getting washed a lot.  I'm not sure if it's lucky, but the B's haven't lost when I wear the shirt all day.

My husband has been horribly sick with an upper respiratory infection.  It seems he's given it to me.  Isn't sharing wonderful?

I was away from home for 8 days on a forced vacation.  I missed my piggies something terrible but most of all I missed my hubby.  He's glad to have me back.

I underwent some tests recently trying to explain my GI problems and one of the results that came back was extremely puzzling.  It seems that I have elevated levels of arsenic in my system.  What I want to know is who is trying to kill me?!  No seriously, it was probably something I ingested naturally.  Though I haven't had fish or rice in a very long time.  The GI doctor said in all his years of practicing he's never seen this.  So they're repeating the test.  If it comes back positive again I have to go see a toxicologist.  I'm not even sure what a toxicologist does.  Or what he can do if they don't know where the arsenic came from.  My theory is from those 5 years of smoking and my body can't flush it out for some reason.  But we'll see.

So anyway, GO BRUINS!!!!!!