The Dark Of The Night

As I sit here in this oppressive heat with no air conditioning, trying to get tired enough to go to sleep, I am watching the angelic face of my husband sleeping.  The light is on next to me and the laptop is balanced on the bed.  But when the light goes out I had better already be half asleep.  Yes, I am a 34 year old woman is afraid of the things that go bump in the night.  I am convinced that every sound is someone coming in to murder us in our sleep.  It doesn't help that a month ago a police officer showed up at our door asking for "Corinne".  I told him no one named Corinne lives here now.  I asked him what it was about and he said the Malden Police would like to speak to her.

So in my mind people are after this "Corinne" and might come looking for her.

With the light on it's a silly story,

With the light off it's reality.

I think I am confused.

Concerning Test Results

The good news is that my calcium, thyroid, and parathyroid levels are all normal.

The bad news is my cholesterol and Glucose is high.  I have been diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes.  But if you look at the numbers I am only 2 points below Type 2 Diabetes.  So I'm changing my diet, and I went for a walk yesterday (without my boot, shhh!  Don't tell my doctor).  It's really depressing actually because I've been losing weight.  I've lost almost 40 pounds in the last year, yet now is the time I get it.  I guess I'll just have to lose more.

Dinner will be the tricky meal.  I get a version of meals on wheels for lunches.  They're actually pretty good.  And I don't have to worry about portion control.  But dinner...  Tomorrow I'm going back to cooking chicken, veggies, and potatoes.  No more frozen crap for us.  My husbands physical is two weeks away and he's afraid he'll have the same diagnosis or worse.  So we're going to go walking together and eat healthy together.

In the meantime I've been put on metformin for the pre-diabetes and Lipitor for the high cholesterol.  I just hope I can motivate myself to change.  This is a real wake-up call.  Time to make the coffee and live my life.

The NHL Awards 2014

Congratulations to Tuukka Rask and especially Patrice Bergeron who walked away with 3 honors.  Tuukka won the Vezina Trophy for being the best darn goalie of the year.  Bergy won the Selke Trophy, the NHL Foundation Award (or something like that) and the cover of NHL 15 Video games.  So for all those that I drove crazy with all my tweets and retweets (all 3,000 of them) with the hashtag #NHL15Bergeron I once again apologize but he won!

Sadly Zdeno Chara did not win the Norris Trophy for which he was nominated.  Maybe next year Big Zee.

Bergeron's speeches were well articulated and put together.  Tuukka's was...well... he admitted he was terrified.  At least he remembered to thank his girlfriend who just gave birth to their daughter 2 months ago.

Chara and Rask made the 1st NHL All-Star team, while Torey Krug made the All-Rookie Team.  Not sure what that means yet but I'm sure I'll find out soon.

Follow Up With The ENT Doctor

I've been to two appointments today.  The first was with the Ear Nose and Throat doctor.  He scoped me and didn't see anything.  Good news thus far.  Next step is a barium swallow test.  Then I get referred to gastroenterology.

The other appointment was my first meeting with my new therapist.  There was a LOT of paperwork to fill out.  No deep psychological breakthroughs today.

Now I need to eat something. I couldn't eat this morning because I had to fast for blood-work from my physical.

Let's Double-check That, Shall We?

I had my 3 year physical exam today.  My doctor didn't know about my broken wrist and broken foot.  What?  How did she miss out on that excitement?  You see, I came in on the weekend to get x-rays so it's possible the report eluded her.  I explained what happened and she was concerned that I broke my bones so easily.  So she ordered a calcium test.  She is also checking my cholesterol level and checking to see if I'm diabetic.  Then I told her I've been having trouble swallowing things.  So she ordered a thyroid test.  She also ordered a parathyroid test in case it's acting up again (I had a parathyroid tumor a few years ago).  Then she referred me to an ENT doctor for my swallowing problem.  Other than that it was uneventful.

Two more weeks in a cast and my giant boot.  The hand surgeon says I'm healing nicely.  Which is fantastic!  No more frozen food, I'll be able to cook and clean again!  Speaking of cleaning, organizing and unpacking, my nurse has informed me that it's all been approved.  I will get several 4-hour blocks of time with the people who will help me out.  I'm super excited for that.

Tomorrow my husband and I are cleaning out the snakes' enclosures.  Then we'll clean out the piggies' playpen.  It will be a pet day.  The day after I see the ENT and start with a new therapist.  I'm hoping we click because I hate shopping around for therapists.  I'm not ashamed to say I need one.  Tons of people see therapists these days.

Now I'm going to share with you a picture of my blue cast.

Where I'm Heading

As I lay here in bed, listening to my Hunger Games playlist, I ponder where I am and where I'm going.  Where I am now is a non functioning member of society.  Sad but true.  I am married so that's something.  That's a lot actually.  Maybe I'm being to hard on myself.  I do that.

Where do I want to go?  I want to work with animals, even if it's just a few hours a week.  I want an Emotional Support Dog, trained to help me with my hallucinations and make me feel loved and safe while my husband is at work.  I would get one now but I can't afford a dog.  Vet visits and food add up.  Until my husband is done with school and has a full time job as an ASE Certified Technician, it's not really an option.  Oh but how I wish it were.

In the meantime I have my precious little guinea pigs who squeal when I pick them up, but snuggle and give kisses once they've settled down.  They make me happy but they're not litter trained so they have a tendency to relieve themselves whenever they feel like it whether you're holding them or not.

A dog would teach me more about responsibility and force me to get up in the morning.  I would get exercise walking my dog and we would curl up on my king sized bed while we waited for my husband to come home.  Then we'd leap off the bed and race to the door to welcome him home from work with some hugs and a kiss or two.  It sounds nice, doesn't it?  I can dream about it, can't I?

Confusion With My Health Insurance Company

So a few weeks ago I got two sets of visitors from my Health Insurance Company.  This health insurance is available to those in the state of Massachusetts who are on Medicare and MassHealth.  The first set of people to visit told me that they would set up people to come help me unpack and organize, then they would bring someone in to help me clean the kitchen and bathroom.  Then I had a second set of visitors a week later, who introduced themselves as my case manager and my nurse.  We talked for over an hour about how they could help me find a local therapist who could see me once a week, and how they could help me with a bunch of other stuff ( a little too personal to share).  Well 10 days passed and I hadn't heard back from anyone so today I started calling people.  It turns out the people who were going to help me clean transferred my case.  So now I'm in red tape limbo.  My nurse did call me and let me know they had taken care of some of the things we talked about and how they were trying to get a therapist who would come to my house initially.

So through all of this I have remained calm and know that it will all be figured out.  Anyway, on a positive note I have found a great place to volunteer.  It is an MSPCA location at Nevin Farms.  Once we get a car again, I can go there once or twice a week and volunteer!  It's only about 10 miles away.  And I get to work with all the animals.  I love animals.  I'm very excited and can't wait, hopefully it won't be too far away in terms of time.  In the meantime I have the piggies and the snakes who need my love, and I am giving it to them whole-heartedly.

Broken Wrist, Broken Foot, But Not A Broken Spirit!

I haven't written in awhile because I had a series of accidents that left me with a broken foot and a broken wrist.  So I'm going to give this a go typing with one hand.  I'm feeling more upbeat about life.  Don't get me wrong, we still have no car and money is just as tight as it ever was, but being with my husband through all of this has kept me sane.  I've gone manic since we lost the car and experienced the subsequent crash, but it only lasted a day.

My husband recently came across a blog of someone who is bipolar.  He's been reading it trying to get a better understanding of the disorder.  I suppose it is especially hard to live with someone who is bipolar.  I've gotten kicked out of an apartment for it and its symptoms.  But he is a loving and supportive husband who loves me with all his heart.  I am so thankful for this I can hardly put it into words.

Enough about that.  So the series of unfortunate events that landed me in this state.  I was waiting for a fried to pick me up and she texted me that she would be late.  I went next door to the Veterinary Hospital to see if they took snakes and guinea pigs.  I went around to the back where the entrance was.  There was a sign that said "Watch Your Step".  I saw a little lip where the door was and thought that's what the sign referred to.  I opened the door and stepped inside only to find a step down.  My ankle took the weight, turned and I heard two cracks.  The receptionist hurried over to help me up.  I got up, asked my question (they don't see exotics), and limped out.  I went out with my friend and her adorable twin babies and just limped through the pain.  When I got home I called my doctor and set up an appointment.  Then I called for a ride.  I went to wait outside, on crutches now, and I fell down the stairs, breaking my left wrist, and badly bruising both kneecaps.  Needless to say I was a wreck.  Then after all that my ride didn't show.

The next day my stepfather took me and my husband (who had been at work through all of this) to Urgent Care where they did x-rays and determined the damage.  Yikes.  Now I have to see a hand surgeon every two weeks and another orthopedist for my foot.  But I'm doing much better.  I got a purple cast for my wrist which makes me happy (the color not the cast) and a big black boot for my foot.

In other news, the piggies and snakes are doing well considering we don't have air conditioning anymore.  The snakes I'm sure love the heat and humidity and the piggies have their own fan.

All in all I'm doing well.  I do have more to report but my right hand is getting tired so I'll stop for now,  I hope everyone had a great weekend!