Weight...The Enemy of Us All

Growing up I always thought I was fat and out of shape.  I was actually quite thin from sixth grade up to about 11th grade.  And the being out of shape?  That was actually my untreated asthma.  It's amazing how warped a teenage mind can be.  I thought I was fat because I weighed more than all my friends.  What I didn't take into consideration was my height (I am and was 5' 8") and the fact that I had a large chest.  I ate what I wanted and thought that I couldn't possibly be thin since I didn't diet.  

That's me on the left in 9th grade.  I wasn't a stick but I was thin.  Now I struggle with obesity.  I was in the morbidly obese classification until only very recently, and I'm still quite heavy.  I long for the days when I was actually thin.  And my asthma hasn't gone away either.  In elementary school I played soccer, and I always had trouble in warmups thinking I was out of shape.  I thought I was out of shape for years, when in fact my breathing was labored for a medical reason.  

People say they wish they could be a kid forever, without the responsibilities of an adult.  I say that's silly because the years I've spent with my husband have been the happiest of my life.  But I long for the body I had back then, which as I understand it, is a common thing amongst adults.  

This is me on my wedding day, 4 years ago.  I'm 40 pounds thinner now, but as you can see I got quite large.  Body image is such a difficult thing for adults, both male and female.  Once when I was 18 and starting to get a little heavy, someone told me I look like my sister but I eat more.  I was mortified.  And yet I didn't change my diet and slowly grew to be 322 pounds.  I've lost 80 pounds since then and I still have a long way to go.  I was forced to care about my diet when this year I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes.  I changed my diet, lost some weight, and brought my glucose back down to a normal level.  Eating right is so hard especially when I love things like pierogies.  But I am not going to let myself continue to be so overweight.  I am slowly losing weight and I will continue to do so.  I don't want to die young.  

I have been entirely honest about my weight.  I hope one day to post current pictures of myself looking svelte.  Until then more hard work.