Ah Easter, the holiday I'm supposed to feel moved. I was raised Protestant, and for awhile I was going to First Presbyterian Church of Waltham. I liked the church and I liked the pastors. But money was an ongoing problem and the pastors had to leave the church. I moved away and so I have been church-less for quite some time now. There is a church within easy walking distance that I want to try. It's Tewksbury Congregational Church, a United Christ Church. I am iffy though because my faith has wavered. And it has to be LGBT friendly, which I can't tell from the outside.
My faith has wavered for a lot of reasons. I always used to associate myself with being Protestant, but recently I'm feeling more Agnostic. I can't get over how so many churches teach hate instead of love and acceptance. And I'm not sure I believe in Easter anymore. Which to be honest, scares the hell out of me. I remember way back when we still went to Park Street Church in Boston, there was an Easter sermon that really moved me. I want to feel that again. Maybe a good starting point would be to go back to church. I can't expect to get moved sitting in bed all day. I do still pray and talk to God. And no, he doesn't talk back in the way that makes me either a Saint or a crazy person. But I get peace talking to Him. Or Her.
So I'm not an Atheist. But I'm not really feeling organized religion either. Is there a place for me at Church? If it could find my faith again, I think I would like that. I'm just a lost soul.
So this Easter and Passover, I have felt nothing. I don't like that. Will church solve that? I think I'd like to find out. Stay tuned.
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