Am I Just A Bad Person?

I think everyone at some point in their lives has asked that question.  "Am I a bad person?"  I always thought I was a good person because deep in my heart I mean well and I have great capacity to love.  I try and think the best of people but I think deep down I'm lazy, incompetent as a house-wife, and I feel like I might be a racist.  Okay, I just put a lot out there.  Let's break it down piece by piece.

I can't seem to hold a job.  Which is a big problem because I can't seem to get a job.  I think that at heart I want to work and do something meaningful.  I really wanted to go to school to learn to be a vet tech.  That would have been meaningful.  But working at CVS is killing me and making me think I can't work.  I need the right fit.  I need to do what I know how to do.  I know Purchasing.  I'm not all there yet, but I know I can learn on that career path and take night school classes in business to further my understanding of Purchasing.  Maybe I'm full of myself, thinking I'm too good to perform minimum wage jobs.  Am I too good for them or am I just too lazy to work them?  I know I can't be on my feet all day.  I've figured that out.  I need a desk job.

Why do I think I'm a terrible housewife?  Well our apartment is a mess.  I hate cleaning.  Which is funny because I like to be organized.  I call it organized chaos.  I can usually find what I'm looking for in little time it just looks disgusting.  And the kitchen is almost nonfunctional it's so messy.  We don't have any pests other than fruit flies.  I don't know what is wrong with me I just can't seem to get myself to clean.

As for the last it kills me to even suggest that I might be a little bit of a racist, but honestly I think there are few people who are truly not racist.  In Freshman Year at University of Toronto my roommate spent the whole night on the phone talking in Korean.  For years after every time I heard someone speaking Korean I cringed.  Although the song "Gangnum Style" has helped me get over that.

So deep in my heart I believe I am a ood person who has some character flaws.  Who doesn't?  No one is perfect.  But where is the line where character flaws became truly bad parts of ourselves.  Who decides that?  I believe God does, but you're free to draw your own conclusion.  Anyway, thank you for reading my ramblings.  Sometimes I just need to get some things out there.